Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki
by Hanhula
Summary: 4-year-old Uzumaki Naruto was just put into hospital. 10-year-old Uchiha Itachi just killed his clan, minus Sasuke. Itachi decides to bring the jinchuuriki child along with him. Let's see how the Akatsuki can cope with looking after a child. 01/12/2014: I'm sorry, but this fanfic's currently discontinued.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**So there are people reading this story? Wow. Here, have some chocolate. No, I haven't poisoned it. What do you mean, you don't think it's chocolate? Look, I'll eat some myse- I WILL KILL YOU, NARUTO! HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY CHOCOLATE AND PUT CHILLI CHOCOLATE IN ITS PLACE!**

**Ahem.**

**Sorry about that, reader. I'll hurt him later.**

**Why are you looking at me like that?**

**Just read the bloody story already!**

**...**

**I said, READ THE STORY!**

**This story takes place in the world of Naruto, with some alterations. This particular chapter is written in present-tense because I wanted to try and write like this. The rest will probably be in 3****rd**** person, as I find it easier. I may have certain chapters written in people's PoV, too.**

**If you find an error anywhere, please tell me and I'll correct it. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. Oh, and that means an error in grammar, spelling, or canon.**

**Regarding story canonicity: It's slightly AU, but I'm trying to keep the backstories of every character the same. As you will notice.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own, and will never own, Naruto.**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter One: Prologue**

This story begins 4 years after the Kyuubi attacked Konoha. Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto is now 4. He's sitting on the swings in the park, alone, when it happens. Some genin and chuunin ninja decide that they want revenge for the Kyuubi's rampage. They attack Naruto, pinning him down and slicing at him. He's left on the ground, half dead.

He is found by one Uchiha Itachi, aged 10. Itachi is the prodigy of the Uchiha clan. He graduated from the Ninja Academy at 7, and mastered the Sharingan at 8. Half a year after he mastered the Sharingan, he passed the Chuunin Exams. Two weeks ago, he had been promoted to the captain of Konoha's ANBU. Itachi gapes when he sees the damage done to the 4-year-old. Unlike most of Konoha, Itachi sees Naruto as a human being. His brother, Sasuke, is around the same age, after all. He grabs the child and takes him to the hospital. Normally, the staff would have refused to help the jinchuuriki child. But none of them want to mess with the famous Uchiha Itachi. Naruto almost died. He remains in the hospital for three weeks before he wakes up. It's another week before he is allowed to leave.

Itachi kills the group of ninja that had decided to attack the jinchuuriki a week after Naruto was put into hospital. The hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, is very angry at Itachi until the raven-haired ninja explains why he killed them. The hokage sighs, and dismisses the young ANBU captain.

Two weeks after Naruto gets out of hospital, Itachi murders the Uchiha clan. The only survivors are himself, and Sasuke. Or so many people think. Nobody knows that a certain masked Uchiha is still alive. But before Itachi leaves Konoha, he decides to bring a certain jinchuuriki with him. It's easy to convince Naruto to come with him. All he has to do is assure the boy that nobody will be mean to him anymore, and that he will be safe. Itachi wishes he could see the look of panic on the hokage's face when he realises that Itachi has taken Naruto.

Meanwhile, in Iwagakure, an 8-year-old Deidara is being bullied again. He's an obvious target. He has mouths on his hands, a verbal tick, and he looks like a girl. Even his family look down on him. A week ago, he joined the Explosion Corps. His sensei, the Sandaime Tsuchikage, had suggested it. It hasn't stopped the bullying, though. All Deidara wants to do is enjoy his art. He flees from his bullies, but stops when he hears two tipsy jounin talking about one of Iwa's kinjutsu scrolls.

"So wait, there's actually a jutsu that lets you combine chakra with stuff?"

"Yeah, it's really weird. The Tsuchikage's going to teach me it soon. He says I should be able to master it easily."

"With your chakra reserves, I'm not surprised. Hey, look! It's the tranny loser!" _Oh crap. One of them noticed me,_ Deidara thinks. The first jounin throws an empty glass bottle at him, but Deidara jumps out of the way. The other jounin growls, and yells at him.

"Piss off, brat! Go make your stupid sculptures or something!" Many people think Deidara's sculptures are the only thing he's good for. Deidara is proud of his art, and this jounin was insulting it. He flies into a rage, and attempts to punch the jounin, who dodges.

"My art is not stupid, un!"

"'My art is not stupid, _un_!'" One of the two mimics him, putting extra emphasis on the verbal tick. The other sniggers and starts to form handsigns. Deidara panics, and flees.

As he runs, he thinks about the kinjutsu scroll. Being able to combine chakra with things? Maybe he could enhance his art? He always thought art should be fleeting, which is why he always uses Explosion Release to blow up his sculptures. Could he actually make his art into a weapon using this scroll? He decides that he'll have to steal the scroll. He could leave Iwa at the same time. He would be free.

Yes. He will steal the kinjutsu, and leave Iwa. He hopes his sensei won't be too mad. Iwa has never cared for him, after all.

While this is going on, the council of Yugakure announces that the village is no longer a shinobi village. This angers a certain silver-haired man. He kills his neighbours and leaves. He finds out about the cult-like faith of Jashin, and joins them. When he discovers the faith of Jashin's secret jutsus, he begins to experiment. Yes, Hidan is happy here. He gets to kill – sorry, _sacrifice_ – people every day, and he is going to find a way to become immortal. Be-fucking-lieve it.

**End of Chapter One: Prologue**

**Author's Note:**

**So? What do you think? I've changed the timeline a little, because I wanted the 4 mentioned Akatsuki members to be younger at the moment.**

**In the real series, Itachi graduates at 7, masters his Sharingan at 8, passes the Chuunin exams at 10 and becomes captain of the ANBU at 13. I don't know what age he killed his clan at. I've changed it so he passes the Chuunin Exams at 8, becomes ANBU captain at 10 and kills his clan shortly after.**

**I plan to have the Akatsuki be like a family in this, too. Not sure what Madara's gonna be like, yet. Probably going to have him act like Tobi, but when he gets pissed off I'll have him switch to scary Madara.**

**Later on, I'm going to be bashing Sakura. She is one of THE most useless characters in the series. **

**There may or may not be yaoi. I haven't decided yet. And just so you know, there will probably not be any OCs in the story. If there are any, they will be very minor. I HATE Mary-Sues.**

**Reviewers will be sent to the Ninja Academy. Non-reviewers will be forced to train with Gai and Lee for a month. Flamers will be tortured by Ibiki Morino and... Anko Mitarashi -gulps-.**


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

**Any of you who review anonymously won't be getting replies. I can't reply to you through FF, and I'm not giving out my email.**

**I got quite a lot of reviews, actually! I'm happy now. And I bought an ocarina, which arrived today. It's amazing!**

**So, here's the second chapter (well, more like first) of NU:SotA. I actually planned this out a bit! The horror!**

**Enjoy, readers!**

**Disclaimer: You must be crazy if you think I own Naruto, Zelda, DBZ or Death Note. Although I did buy a real Death Note at Supernova. It worked, too. I wrote Osama Bin Laden in, 23 days later... he died. (23 days. 23 is my lucky number. 2 divided by 3 is 0.666r. Also, I think in L: Change the WorLd, it took 23 days for L to die. Creepy, huh?)**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 2**

One week had passed since Itachi and Naruto had left Konoha. They were still travelling towards the Akatsuki base. They had been attacked by bandits and foreign ninja who recognised Itachi a few times, but the Uchiha had easily beaten them all. He was slowly teaching the 4-year-old the beginnings of ninja techniques. Naruto was picking them up very quickly. At this rate, he'd be genin-level before he turned 6. Two days ago, Itachi sent a messenger bird ahead to the base. His letter read:

_Leader-sama,_

_I have left Konoha, but I am not alone. I am bringing Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki, along with me. He was being abused by the villagers and I could not leave him there. Think how much easier it will be to extract the Kyuubi, when the time comes. Also, even though he is only 4, he has gigantic reserves of chakra. I have begun training him and he seems to be fairly powerful. Maybe he could be of some use to the Akatsuki?_

_- Uchiha Itachi_

It would be a few more hours before they reached their destination. Naruto was restless, and kept asking questions. Questions that irritated Itachi.

"What's A-cat-soo-key? Where are we going? Will it be nice there? Are we there yet? Why do you have lines on your face? Can we stop walking?" Naruto asked, curiously. The blonde was playing with a rubber ball that Itachi had brought with them. It didn't take his mind off the journey, unfortunately.

"Akatsuki is a group of people who want peace. We're going to the Akatsuki base. I don't know. No, we're not there yet. I don't know why I have lines on my face, they're natural. Why do you want to stop?" he said, sighing. Naruto had been asking the same kind of questions for the past week, and Itachi's patience was thinning.

"I need to pee... Really, really badly... Please, Itachi-nii-san!" Naruto begged, a strained expression on his face. Itachi sighed again, before scanning the area to check for enemies. There was nothing out of the ordinary, so he nodded.

"Fine. We can stop here. Go in the bushes." He answered. Naruto smiled, and ran over to the bushes. Itachi glanced around. They were nearly at the end of their journey. Only a little longer.

-NU:SotA-

Three hours later, the duo arrived at the Akatsuki Base. Or rather, where the base was supposed to be. Rain was pouring down from the sky, and they were both very tired. Itachi activated his Sharingan, but still could not tell where the base was.

"Itachi-nii-san, is this supposed to be the base? Something feels really weird around here." Naruto said, yawning. Itachi's eyes widened. Could Naruto be on to something? It was worth trying, anyway.

"There must be a genjutsu!" He concentrated his chakra, and released the genjutsu. "Kai!" A gigantic cliff appeared in front of them. A boulder blocked the door. Itachi saw that there was some kind of sign on the boulder, and he recalled something Madara had told him.

_FLASHBACK NO JUTSU!_

"_So when you get to the base, make sure you put on this ring. It will let you enter." Madara said. He was wearing that annoying orange mask. "If you try and get through the door without wearing your ring, you will be blown up. There are chakra-sensing bombs under the entire area."_

_Itachi nodded. "Yes, Madara-sama. I understand. What if I capture a prisoner and want to bring them inside, though?" he said._

"_In that case, you would hold onto them. Otherwise, they will be blown up. One of our members forgot this once, and that's how the Sanbi got away," said Madara. He sounded annoyed._

_FLASHBACK NO JUTSU: KAI!_

He grabbed Naruto's hand, and took out his Akatsuki ring. He put it on his right ring finger. Madara had told him that the ring should go on this finger. As he put on the ring, the boulder seemed to shimmer out of existence. Naruto was wide-eyed. Itachi glanced at him, before walking into the base, dragging Naruto with him.

Once inside, the boulder reappeared behind them. Itachi was unsure about what to do now. Did they wait, or did they try and find someone? Luckily, their question was answered when some sheets of paper flew in, and turned into a blue-haired woman.

"You must be Itachi and Naruto. Please, follow me. We've been expecting you," she said. Her voice was soft. "I am Konan. I am Pein's second-in-command." The woman – Konan – set off, and the two children followed her. Naruto was looking around nervously. She stopped in front of a door. "This is the leader's office. You are only allowed in here when he allows you in. The others are waiting inside." she said, opening the door.

Inside, there were 6 men. They introduced themselves.

"I'm Hoshigaki Kisame," said the tallest of them. He had blue skin, blue hair and sharp teeth. His eyes were very strange, almost fish-like. "And this is my sword, Samehada." He raised an enormous bandaged sword and pointed it at them. Naruto flinched.

"Kukuku... My name is Orochimaru," said – no, hissed another. Orochimaru scared both Naruto and Itachi. He seemed very snakelike. Itachi recognised him as one of the Sannin. Orochimaru was looking rather strangely at Itachi, and he didn't like it.

"I'm Zetsu. **And so am I,"** said a weird man who seemed to have two separate personalities. He also had a plant around him. "Well, obviously you are. We share a body. **Shut up, baka! **You just called yourself a baka. **Shut UP! **Fine..."

"I am Kakuzu. I manage the finances of Akatsuki. Try not to cost us too much," said a masked man whose dark skin appeared to be sewed together, from what they could see.

"I am Akasuna no Sasori. A word of advice: stay away from my room. I keep many poisons in there, and most of them do not have antidotes." said a red-headed man who looked fairly young, but spoke as if he were older.

"And I am Pein. You will address me as Leader-sama. You two should introduce yourselves," said the only one who hadn't yet spoken, the flame-haired man with piercings. He had the rinnegan.

"I am Uchiha Itachi. And this is Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto." Itachi said, keeping one hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Uchiha Itachi, eh? Didn't you wipe out the Uchiha clan a week ago?" asked Kisame, looking at Itachi. "You look a bit young."

"I'm 10 years old and I was the captain of ANBU. Age is of no matter when you are a shinobi." Itachi replied, studying the shark-man.

"Naruto-kun, how old are you?" asked Pein. Not many people knew that Nagato (a.k.a. Pein) was an Uzumaki, and he planned to keep it that way. But still... this child was in his clan, and Pein planned to try and protect him.

"Itachi-nii-san told me that I'm 4, Leader-sama!" Naruto said, grinning madly. Then he frowned. "Whee, everything's all weird..." Itachi turned around and caught Naruto just as he passed out.

"Did you not think to rest on the way here?" asked Konan. She looked angry at Itachi. "He's only 4! He needs rest!"

"I know. The reason we took so long to get here is because we needed to sleep so often." Itachi replied, eyeing the kunoichi warily.

"Kisame, show Itachi to his room. He looks exhausted. Konan, could you look after Naruto?" Pein commanded, his eyes softening slightly as he looked at Naruto's unconscious form. "Orochimaru, Sasori, you two may leave as well. Kakuzu, Zetsu, stay."

"Yes, leader-sama."

-NU:SotA-

Kisame lead Itachi to a room with two beds inside of it. Half the room was painted a dark blue, and was cluttered with various items. The other half was empty, except for the bed.

"This is our room. You're sharing with me, because you're going to be my partner. You'll have time to paint your room and make it feel nicer in between missions, but I suggest you just go to sleep for now."

"Thank you, Kisame-san." Itachi mumbled, before collapsing on the bed. Kisame chuckled, and put a blanket over Itachi.

In another part of the Akatsuki base, Konan put Naruto down onto a bed, and tucked him in. She looked at his young face, and nearly cried.

He reminded her of Yahiko.

Yahiko, who was always the one to make her and Nagato laugh.

Yahiko, who always knew what to say to make them feel better.

Yahiko... who had died for them.

The three, when children, had been trained by Jiraiya of the Sannin. Maybe it would have been better if the three Sannin had followed Orochimaru's advice and killed them.

Konan had loved Yahiko. Yahiko had loved her. They both loved Nagato.

It had been a strange relationship, but all three had enjoyed it.

Until it all went wrong.

Now, Konan was practically all on her own. Nagato, or Pein as he now called himself, had changed. And Yahiko was dead.

Konan desperately wanted to be able to redeem the trio. She wanted her own child, to love and care for. A child to raise as the greatest hero known to the world.

Maybe... maybe Uzumaki Naruto could...

No. No 'maybes' about it. Uzumaki Naruto would become the saviour of the world. The boy who lived to create peace.

Now, how to stop Madara from finding out her goals? ...Wait. She didn't need to stop him. Madara would not destroy Naruto, as he believed that the boy could help him.

Uzumaki Naruto. You're going to grow strong, as the son of the Akatsuki.

-NU:SotA-

"Kakuzu, why did you kill Piero?" Pein asked, in his office. He had kept Kakuzu and Zetsu behind because Kakuzu had decided to kill his partner two days ago.

"He was annoying me." Was the abrupt answer Pein received. He resisted the strong urge to facepalm.

"That is not a very good reason. Now you need a new partner. Zetsu, you told me that you had found a few possible recruits?"

"Yes, leader-sama. **Some of them look very tasty. **Shh! Anyway, we have found five possible recruits. There is an 8 year old Iwa missing-nin, who has a kekkei genkai that gives him mouths on his hands. **He uses them to create exploding sculptures,**" Zetsu said. Readers may notice that he is talking about Deidara.

"Too young. Maybe in the future. Keep an eye on him." Pein said in response.

"Next we have a 26 year old who can fly, and shoot energy beams. His only real speciality is that he can power up to another form, where his eyes turn cyan and his hair becomes spiky and gold," said the white half of Zetsu. "**He also has a tail, and turns into a giant ape with no self-control when it is the full moon. He thinks he is a prince of an alien planet, though.**" said the black half of Zetsu. Watchers of Dragon Ball Z will recognise this as Vegeta, Prince of all Saiyans.

"He does not sound particularly strong, and he also seems to be insane. Next." Pein dismissed the Saiyan warrior's powers immediately. An idiotic mistake, since Vegeta can destroy planets with his finger.

"The next one is a teenager who can kill people just by knowing their name and face, and writing their names in a notebook. **He is delusional, and thinks he can see a Shinigami, who likes apples.** He has some very basic fighting skills. **And he thinks he is a god.**" Zetsu did not seem to think very highly of Yagami Light.

"No. Just no. I am the only god around here!" Pein clearly did not like Death Note very much.

"The fourth on my list is a strong swordsman. He has very strong dark powers, and can do a lot of damage. He is also seemingly immortal. **But he's been defeated by a strange man in a green tunic who has hardly any skill and a princess a few times.**" Could it be that Zetsu wanted to recruit Ganondorf? Pein seemed to be considering it for a few minutes.

"...No. If he can be defeated by a random civilian who picked up a sword, then he is not worthy of the Akatsuki."

"Ok. The final person on my list is a teenager who recently became immortal. He's very strong, and fights with a sythe. **He worships Jashin, and recently destroyed half of Yugakure when he decided to leave.**"

"...Hmm. He sounds like a possibility, even if he is only a teenager. How old is he, and what is his name?"

"He is 14, and his name is Hidan."

"Well, we'll see. Kakuzu, go and find Hidan and test him. If he seems to be capable of joining Akatsuki, bring him here."

"Yes, leader-sama." Kakuzu left to go and prepare for his new mission assignment. Pein turned to Zetsu.

"Zetsu, what was the name of the Iwa missing-nin?"

"Deidara, Leader-sama. **Should we keep an eye on him?"**

"Yes. If somebody dies, he shall replace them unless we find somebody else. You are dismissed."

"Yes, leader-sama." Zetsu sank into the floor, leaving Pein alone. The red-headed man looked into a mirror that was leaning against the wall.

"Yahiko..." he murmured. He felt a wave of sadness. For some reason, Uzumaki Naruto's face came to his mind. Naruto did look a little like Yahiko, after all.

It was a strange feeling, seeing Naruto. Pein had thought that he himself was the last of the Uzumaki. It seems that he had thought wrong. He decided that he would have to see who the boy's mother was, as it was clearly not the father who was an Uzumaki.

No, Naruto's father was obvious. Namikaze Minato. The Yondaime Hokage of Konoha.

Pein wondered what Konoha would do when their hokage told them who Naruto was. They'd probably go crazy, and search everywhere for him.

Well, the Akatsuki would be ready for them. He wasn't going to lose the only member of his family. Although... Konan could be considered family, too. Pein's thoughts drifted to the blue-haired kunoichi whom he loved so much.

Maybe Konan and he could treat Naruto like their son? He wondered if they could possibly turn Naruto into the saviour of the world. The bringer of peace, even at a cost.

"Uzumaki Naruto... you will either be our saviour, or our demise..." Pein whispered to himself, before leaving the room to go to his private quarters.

He found Konan waiting for him. They spoke at great length about Naruto, and who they wanted him to become.

"...but even if he is to become a strong hero, I want him to remain... him. Not like you, Nagato. You let your power corrupt you," said Konan, frowning. Pein agreed with her.

They soon fell asleep, dreaming of a perfect future.

-NU:SotA-

It was dark in Orochimaru and Sasori's room. The puppet rarely slept there, as he didn't need sleep. Sasori instead chose to stay in his workshop and create his art all night long. This was fine with Orochimaru, as it gave him time to plan. He would have to switch to a new body very soon.

And the snake Sannin had his creepy yellow eyes set on one Uchiha Itachi. The Sharingan... the perfect kekkei genkai, used for memorising jutsus. The leader would be annoyed at losing Itachi so soon after he joined, but Orochimaru was going to flee before the leader got the chance to kill him.

But... the child. Uzumaki Naruto. He seemed to be very powerful. It was very tempting. Slowly, Orochimaru began to formulate an evil plan.

**End of Chapter 2**

**Author's Note:**

**Well? Do you like it? I was going to make it much longer, but I decided I would end it here. I think the chapters are going to gradually get longer as I practice writing more.**

**I couldn't resist putting in some characters from other anime shows! Can you imagine what would happen if Vegeta, Light Yagami, or Ganondorf joined the Akatsuki?**

**Here, have a little imaginary scenario.**

**Naruto and Sakura are trying to get Gaara back, with Sai, Chiyo, and Kakashi. (Was Sai with them in the anime/manga? I don't think he was, but he's here now, goddammit!) Vegeta, Ganondorf and Light are the ones who have Gaara's body.**

**Naruto: GIVE GAARA BACK YOU BASTARDS!**

**Light: Why? He's dead. Who are you anyway?**

**Naruto: I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I'm gonna be Hokage! Believe it!**

**Light: Okay. –takes out Death Note- U..zu..ma..ki... Na..ru..to. Willingly lets the Akatsuki extract Kyuubi, and dies after the Kyuubi is removed from him.**

**Naruto: WHAT DID YOU JUST DO? I must.. give myself.. to the Akatsuki...**

**Sakura: OMG! WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO? HE STILL NEEDS TO GET SASUKE-KUN BACK!**

**Vegeta: Shut up, woman! Galic gun! –Sakura dies-**

**Kakashi: O_o You killed Sakura?**

**Ganondorf: Your hair.. It reminds me of his! DIE! –Ganondorf turns into a giant monster and kills Kakashi-**

**Chiyo: O_O Can we just have his body, please?**

**Sai: We do not wish to cause trouble. They were idiots.**

**Light: (Hmm... Nope, can't think of anything they could do with a body.) Sure. Take him.**

**Vegeta: You're not worthy to even look at me, let alone fight me.**

**Ganondorf: I'm going to rule the world. A freak ninja and an old woman won't stop me.**

**-The Akatsuki leave with Naruto-**

**Chiyo: I will now save Gaara... shit, not enough chakra!**

**Sai: Use mine, I have lots because I am Sai and I have a large penis.**

**Chiyo: ...erm... okay...?**

**Gaara: What the- where is Naruto?**

**Sai: They took him. He's already dead. His name is in the Death Note.**

**Gaara: This is why I don't tell anybody my last name.**

**Chiyo: Oh well, he was an idiot.**

**Gaara: What about Sakura and Kakashi? Wait, nobody cares about Sakura.**

**Sai: Kakashi-san was killed. So was Ugly.**

**Gaara: Oh well. Let's have a party to celebrate Sakura's death.**

**Review or I will set the Saiyan-Notebook-Triforce trio on you!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Attack of Orochimaru

**A/N**

**Holy shit! Do you guys take my threats seriously or something? SO MANY REVIEWS! I checked my email the day after I posted the last chapter and saw 30 messages from FF! And at least 10 of them were reviews!**

**For those of you who burst out laughing at the little omake at the end of the chapter, go check out my other story. It's called Fun with the Akatsuki, and it's a humour fic.**

**Getting reviews DEFINATELY makes me write faster. I only finished the last chapter a few days ago, and I'm already done with this one! Wow!**

**Oh, and I think I should do a disclaimer. Well, when I say 'I should'... HIDAN! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!**

**-Hidan walks through the door, wearing a pink tutu-**

**Hidan: I FUCKING HATE YOU!**

**Just do the damn disclaimer!**

**Hidan: FINE, BITCH! This crazy bitch called Hanhula does not own Naruto. I'm glad she fucking doesn't!**

**Hey! If I owned Naruto, I'd have killed off Naruto and Sakura and kept you all alive!**

**Hidan: You've got a point...**

**I may not own Naruto, but I do own an ocarina. It is awesome. I just bought a beautiful dress, too. I'm going to cosplay as Princess Zelda for Supanova next year!**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 3: The Attack of Orochimaru**

Five days passed by very quickly. Itachi started to train with his new partner, Kisame. Naruto enjoyed watching the duo train. Occasionally, they would teach him things that would help him become a good ninja, like how to throw a kunai perfectly. Naruto would practice basic jutsus as he watched. The one jutsu that he couldn't do was the Bunshin jutsu.

At this moment in time, Kisame and Itachi were having a practice fight. Itachi managed to catch Kisame in a strong genjutsu. Whilst the older ninja was preoccupied, Itachi knocked him out. Naruto cheered. Kisame woke up after a few minutes to find his partner teaching Naruto a new jutsu, the Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu.

"Itachi, why are you teaching him that jutsu? Are you sure he has enough chakra?" asked Kisame, nervously. Leader-sama would kill them both if Naruto died.

"He is a jinchuuriki. He also has a ridiculous amount of his own chakra. He can definitely learn this jutsu. Now, Naruto. I showed you the hand signs, now try performing the jutsu."

"TAJUU KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" yelled Naruto, after forming the hand signs. Hundreds of shadow clones appeared around them. Itachi and Kisame gaped. Even their leader couldn't make this many. And this was Naruto's first time, and without the Kyuubi's chakra.

"Holy shit," whispered Kisame. Pein and Konan, who were watching from their tower, were also shocked. Sasori, looking out from his workshop, dropped his tools in surprise. Orochimaru, who was watching from the shadows, smiled nastily. Naruto-kun would be a great body, one day.

"Naruto, how did you make so many?" asked Itachi. Naruto grinned.

"I just did what you told me, nii-san! Did I do something wrong? Why does Kisame-sensei have his mouth open like that? It makes him look even more like a fish!" Kisame blinked, and closed his mouth. Itachi laughed.

"It's just that you made so many clones. I've never seen anybody make this many. Especially not on their first try," said Itachi.

"So, what can I do with these clones?" asked Naruto.

"They make your training faster. Every time they are dispelled, their memories return to you," explained Itachi. Naruto looked confused.

"What..?" Itachi looked at him, sighing.

"I keep forgetting that you are only four years old. Get rid of all but one of your shadow clones."

"Hey! I may be four, but I'm really awesome! Okay, I'll get rid of them." Naruto dispelled all of the shadow clones, except for one. Itachi created a single shadow clone.

"Now, make your clone follow mine."

"Okay!"

_With the clones:_

_Itachi's clone led Naruto's clone deep into the nearby forest. He stopped when they were a few miles away._

"_Now, Naruto. Play rock paper scissors with me."_

"_Hai, dattebayo! Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOW!" Itachi's hand made a rock, and Naruto's made scissors. Naruto made a face. "Kuso, I wanted to win."_

"_Naruto, ask Kisame why he is scared of cats."_

"_Sure! Wh- ow!" Itachi's clone punched Naruto's, dispelling it. The clone then dispelled itself._

"Kisame-sensei, why are you scared of cats? ...Oh, is that what you meant, nii-san? I remember losing against you in a game of rock paper scissors, and then you told me to ask that!" Kisame groaned at Naruto's question.

"Of all the things you had to get him to say! I am not scared of cats, I just hate them! They tried to eat me!" yelled the shark-nin. Naruto laughed.

"Why would they want to eat you? Oh yeah, you're a fish. Fish-same-sensei!"

"Call me that again and I'll flood your room."

"What kind of a threat is that, Kisame?"

"Well, if I do anything too bad, Leader-sama will kill me!"

"What about fishy-sensei?"

"NO!"

-NU:SotA-

Itachi walked towards his room. Kisame had been forced to end the training session when he accidently threw Samehada into a muddy hole. The sword had not been impressed, and had tried to stab it's owner. Kisame was being healed by Sasori at that moment. When Itachi reached his door, he paused.

"Is there something you want, Orochimaru-san?" he asked, turning to face the snake Sannin. Orochimaru grinned.

"Of course there is. I want your body!" Orochimaru began the body transfer jutsu. Itachi froze, then used his Magenkyou Sharingan to cancel the jutsu. Orochimaru cursed, and fled in the opposite direction. Itachi ran after him.

Naruto was bored. He was sitting inside his room, reading a book that Konan had given him. The book was called _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone_. It was the first in a series of seven about a young boy who finds out that he is a wizard. Naruto thought that Harry was a bit weird. Why didn't he tell any of the teachers at his school about his abusive family, the Dursleys? The world may never know.

Suddenly, his door burst open. Orochimaru flew towards the blonde, and sank his teeth into Naruto's neck. Naruto screamed out in pain. Itachi ran into the room, but Orochimaru managed to shunshin out of the base. Itachi had managed to cut off one of the snakelike man's hands, however – the hand with his Akatsuki ring on it. Sasori then appeared in the doorway, eyes widening at the scene. He ran forward and just managed to catch both Itachi and Naruto as they collapsed. Kisame followed the puppet-master into the room, and helped carry the duo to the infirmary.

Within minutes, the entire Akatsuki (minus Kakuzu and Zetsu) were gathered in the infirmary, looking at the unconscious forms of their two youngest members. Pein was the first to speak.

"What happened?" he asked. Sasori and Kisame both shrugged.

"When I got there, Itachi was holding a kunai out and Orochimaru's hand was on the floor. Naruto was screaming in pain and clutching his neck. A strange mark has appeared on him, too," said Sasori in his soft voice.

"Orochimaru attacked us both," whispered Itachi. He had just woken up. "He tried to take over my body using a strange jutsu, and I managed to stop him using my Sharingan. He then fled and attacked Naruto. I wasn't able to stop him in time."

"Then Orochimaru has left Akatsuki. If any of you are to see him, kill him on sight. Sasori, how long will it be until Naruto wakes up?" Pein gave his orders in a harsh tone. He was furious at the snake Sannin. Sasori examined Naruto's wound again.

"I'd say a few days, but I'm not really sure since I don't know what Orochimaru did. It looks like a seal of some kind," said Sasori. Pein nodded. Konan closed her eyes.

"Pein, aren't you a master at fuinjutsu?" she murmured. He nodded.

"I will look at the seal when Naruto awakens," he said. The two of them walked out, lost in their own thoughts.

"Itachi, you've been here less than a week and you've been knocked out already! I thought you were supposed to be strong?" teased Kisame. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"Says the ninja who almost got killed by his own sword."  
>"Oh, shut up!"<p>

Sasori sighed. He hoped that whoever was assigned as his new partner wasn't such an idiot. Maybe he would get lucky, and another artist would join.

-NU:SotA-

Miles away from the Akatsuki base, Deidara sneezed. He was working as a hired bomber at the moment. He enjoyed it immensely. He got to create his wonderful art!

"KATSU!" he yelled, watching the explosions. Little did he know, he was being watched by another. Deidara created a clay bird, and flew towards where his employers asked him to detonate bombs. Zetsu rose from the floor.

"Hmm. This one seems very strong. **He's an idiot, though. **He'd be a perfect partner for Sasori. **Sasori has a partner already, baka! And anyway, Sasori would kill the brat. **Possibly, but Leader-sama asked us to keep an eye on him. Oh? Leader-sama is calling us back to the base. **I wonder what happened."**

-NU:SotA-

A day had passed since Orochimaru's defection. Naruto was still unconscious, but Itachi had recovered. Zetsu had been briefed on the situation. A team would be sent to fetch Deidara when Naruto woke up and Kakuzu returned with their other new member, Hidan.

Speaking of Kakuzu and Hidan, they were almost at the base. Kakuzu had been told about Orochimaru, and had kept an eye out. However, he hadn't seen anything. He was becoming extremely annoyed with Hidan, though.

"So why do you always wear a mask? Are you such an ugly fucker that you don't want anyone to see your face, cocksucker?" asked Hidan. Kakuzu silently hoped that Pein would kill the Jashinist.

"Shut up. We're here. Put on your ring," he ordered. Hidan made a face.

"I hope Jashin-sama doesn't mind that I'm wearing jewellery other than His symbol..." he muttered, putting the small ring on the correct finger.

"Follow me," said Kakuzu. He led Hidan to Pein's office, and knocked on the door.

"Come in," called a strong male voice. The immortal duo entered.

"Ah, you must be Hidan. Normally I would introduce you to the rest of Akatsuki, but that is not possible at the moment. Kakuzu, I take it you approve of him joining Akatsuki?"

"He is annoying, but an able fighter."

"You have a lot of piercings. Bet they hurt like a fucking bitch!" Kakuzu facepalmed. Pein blinked, and chuckled.

"Such language. Well, it is to be expected from a teenager. Tell me, Hidan. Who is Jashin and why do you worship him?" A fire began to blaze in Hidan's eyes at the leader's words.

"Jashin-sama is the one true god! All those who do not serve Him well will be condemned to eternal torture in the afterlife! He blesses those who worship Him with immortality, so that we may enjoy the pain of sacrificing mortals to Him!" yelled the Jashinist. Pein looked thoughtful.

"Sacrificing mortals...?" asked the leader. Hidan grinned.

"Before and after every fight, we must perform a ritual prayer, asking for a good sacrifice. We sacrifice those we fight with to Jashin-sama, and experience the ultimate pain!" he yelled out.

"Interesting. Kakuzu, could you go and tend to Naruto? You may have some idea about what Orochimaru did to him." Kakuzu left, leaving Hidan alone with Pein. The younger ninja was frowning.

"Orochimaru? Does he look really pale with girly black hair and a freaky long tongue?" asked Hidan.

"Yes, that would be him. He is one of the three Sannin."

"I met him! About a week ago! That fucker tried to kill me!" he yelled. Pein was surprised. Orochimaru had not been on any missions last week.

"Are you sure?" questioned Pein. If what Hidan said was true...

"Yeah! He said something about coming back for me when he'd got his new body and a spare. He was one creepy fucker."

"A new body... and a spare? Did he do anything else to you, by any chance?"

"He tried to bite my neck, but I blocked him with my scythe. I almost got his blood, but he managed to get out of there before I hit him. Then I had to do a load of rituals because I didn't kill him." Pein now thought he knew what Orochimaru had been trying to do.

"Thank you for telling me this. It will help greatly. Now, to business. Do you know who any of the members of Akatsuki are?"

"Other than you and the old man? Nope!"

"Here are pictures of them. This is Hoshigaki Kisame. He was one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. This is Akasuna no Sasori. He was a famous puppeteer in Suna before he left. This is Zetsu. He has two personalities, but not much is known of his past. This is my angel, Konan. This is one of our newest members, Uchiha Itachi. He murdered his entire clan, only leaving his younger brother alive. And this is our youngest member, Uzumaki Naruto. He is four years old and currently unconscious. He is the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi. Itachi brought Naruto with him when he left Konoha."

"Why the fuck is the kid unconscious? Did he knock himself out or something?"

"No. He and Itachi were both attacked by Orochimaru. He tried to steal Itachi's body, but failed and attacked Naruto. He bit Naruto's neck. This is why I was interested in what you were saying about Orochimaru."

"So that bastard's a paedophile? Gross." Pein chuckled at Hidan's words.

"I see why you think he is a paedophile. As everyone else is busy, I will show you your room. Since you are going to be partnered with Kakuzu, you will be sharing a room with him. A word of advice: don't touch his money. Immortal or not, he will find a way to kill you."

"Fine, fine. Hey, how am I going to sacrifice people to Jashin-sama? Are we allowed to go kill people?"

"Please leave the citizens of Amegakure alone. Otherwise, you may kill anyone. Don't go too far away from the base unless you are on a mission. And tell somebody before you leave."

"Fucking awesome!"

-NU:SotA-

Naruto knew nothing but pain. It burned through his body, torturing him in silence. He couldn't move; the pain was holding him down.

_Naruto-kun... come to me... I'll stop the pain..._

That voice again. It kept talking to him.

_Naruto-kun..._

Suddenly, he felt another wave of pain. But unlike before, this pain felt... colder. It stopped the burning.

And then he woke up. Or at least, he thought he did. He was standing in a large sewer. A gigantic white snake and a humongous red fox with nine tails were fighting. The fox was losing, as it was behind a huge cage. The snake noticed Naruto, and leapt at him. One of the fox's tails shot through the bars and lifted him out of the way.

'_Naruto-kun! Stop the fox from attacking me! I can help you! I can give you all the power you want... I can give you the strength of a million! You'll be able to rule the world with your amazing power!' _hissed the snake. Naruto thought about it. Power? That wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to be loved. He wanted a family.

'_**Don't listen to the snake. It's an intruder! Help me get rid of it, kit! I can't do much without you wanting me to!' **_The fox's voice was deep, and booming. It reminded Naruto of a demon. He wanted the snake to leave, and it seemed that the fox wanted the same thing.

'Go... away..." he whispered. A red substance bubbled through the bars of the cage, and attacked the snake. The snake screamed. Naruto felt a sudden burning on his neck, and collapsed.

Meanwhile, in reality, Kakuzu and Sasori were trying to hold the child's body down. An enormous blast of chakra threw them away from him. His eyes snapped open. They were golden, with black sclera. An inhuman roar echoed from his throat. The three black tomoe on his neck were spreading. Black marks soon covered Naruto's entire left side.

"Sasori! Go and get Pein! I'll try and stop him!" Kakuzu yelled at the puppet, who nodded and ran out the door. Kakuzu turned to Naruto and attempted to grab him with threads. The boy roared again, and attacked the older ninja. Kakuzu was blasted through the wall. Kisame and Itachi, who were training again, saw and immediately tried to help. Itachi attempted to cast a genjutsu on Naruto, but it was immediately dispelled and Itachi was blasted with a strange attack, causing him to be knocked unconscious. Kisame and Kakuzu tried to corner Naruto, but he blasted them back again. Kisame used a Suiton jutsu to try and knock him out, but Naruto jumped out of the way. At that moment, Pein arrived. Sasori, Konan and Hidan followed behind him. Pein's Rinnegan eyes widened at the scene. Kisame swung Samehada towards Naruto. He dodged. The black lines seemed to spread further across Naruto's body, changing him into something demonic. Naruto was accessing the second level of the curse mark. Strange fleshy wings erupted from his back. His hair lengthened, and turned dark grey. Pein appeared next to him, and grabbed him. At the same moment, red chakra exploded from Naruto's body. His body returned to normal, and his eyes closed. Hidan was the first to break the silence.

"What the fucking hell just happened?"

"He woke up and went mad. I think we know what Orochimaru did to him, then," said Kakuzu. Everybody stared at Naruto.

"Kakuzu and Konan. Take care of Naruto. Hidan, stay with them in case he wakes up in a similar state again. Kisame, wake up your partner and make sure he isn't badly wounded. Sasori, come to my office. Zetsu has found somebody who could make a good partner for you." Pein gave his orders.

"Yes, Leader-sama." Everybody chorused. Kisame carried Itachi's unconscious form up to their room, and Konan took Naruto from Pein.

Up in Pein's office, Zetsu was informing Sasori and Pein of Deidara's abilities.

"...and he is also skilled in making exploding clay sculptures. His clay is his primary method of attack. **He's another artist, like Sasori and Konan. They should start up an art club. **Don't be stupid! **Oh, now you're calling me stupid? You realise we're the same person? **Shut up!"

"Sasori, you will wait until Itachi and Naruto have recovered. Then you, Kisame, Naruto and Itachi will find and recruit Deidara. I am having you bring them with you in case there is trouble. Plus, it will be a chance for our newer members to get some experience."

"Yes, Leader-sama."

"You are dismissed."

Sasori left Pein's office in a daze. He was going to get another artist as his partner! Inner Sasori did a happy dance. Outwardly, Sasori displayed no emotion.

**End Chapter 3: The Attack of Orochimaru**

**A/N: In Shippuuden, Deidara is 19 and Sasori is 35. If I make Naruto 4, that makes Deidara 8 and Sasori 24. Because I want to eventually have SasoDei, I'm making Sasori 16 – much younger. So he's only been in Akatsuki for a year. It's still an 8 year gap between them, but that's not **_**that **_**much. They'll find a way. Remember, Sasori's a puppet so he'll stay physically 15 forever. And yes, you did read that right. SasoDei will be in this story, since it's one of my favourite pairings.**

**I am STILL not sure on who Naruto will be with! A little help here? Vote for your favourite Naruto x ? pairing!**

**Naruto x Sasuke**

**Naruto x Gaara**

**Naruto x Sai**

**Naruto x Yugito Nii (by request of a reviewer)**

**Naruto x Hinata**

**Naruto x Temari**

**Naruto x Ino**

**Naruto x Hidan (?)**

**Naruto x Other**

**DO NOT ASK FOR NARUSAKU! I WILL NOT BE WRITING NARUSAKU! I HATE THAT PAIRING WITH A PASSION!**

**Hidan is the only member of Akatsuki who I will even THINK about putting Naruto with. Well, I suppose I could do Deidara, but I like SasoDei too much.**

**Send me your suggestions, people!**

**And HOLY SHIT! ALMOST 3500 WORDS!**

**Oh, another thing. Anyone who reviews WILL get a reply, as long as they're logged in and are allowing PMs. If you chat with me, I may ask you for help with the chapters or give you cameo roles in either this story, or my other one. Two lucky reviewers are already getting cameos in FWTA. Who knew the Uchiha clan's weakness was fangirls?**

**So go on! Review! REVIEW, MY MINIONS! Muahaha!**

**Almost at 3500 words... almost...nearly there... YES!**


	4. Chapter 4: Family and Deidara

**A/N**

**Well. After a bit of a delay, I'm FINALLY done with this chapter. I think it's a little too much of an explanation chapter, really. But you get to meet Deidara and you get to learn about Naruto's family! Yay!**

**But with that said, it's now even harder for me to pick the pairing. Currently, the votes are:**

**Naruto x Sasuke - 7**

**Naruto x Yugito - 4**

**Naruto x Temari - 3**

**Naruto x Hidan - 3**

**Naruto x Gaara - 6**

**Naruto x Sai - 2**

**Naruto x Fu - 2**

**The last one, Naruto x Fu, is making me think. She's also a Jinchuuriki, and we don't know her age so I could make her around Naruto's age. She's also fairly pretty. I don't really want to write Naruto x Yugito, as she's much older. She would be a better choice for Hidan, maybe.**

**But I STILL LOVE NARUTO X SASUKE AND NARUTO X GAARA! I think I actually like Naruto x Gaara more...**

**Heh, what about Naruto x Gaara x Fu? That could be interesting. LOLOLOL JINCHUURIKI HAREM XD XD. (Yes, that was a joke... can you imagine Kirabi and Han and Roshi in the harem? Blech!)**

**Naruto x Sasuke may be in the lead, but that doesn't mean I'm going to pick it. I still have a while to decide, seeing as NARUTO IS FOUR.**

**You may be able to tell that the Jinchuuriki are going to play a very different role in this story. I will be using many facts from canon, but it's a bit AU anyway so... yeah.**

**Anyway. Haku, do the disclaimer.**

**Haku: ...Where am I? Why am I even in this story?**

**Because of my awesome foreshadowing skills.**

**Haku: Um...**

**Just do the bloody disclaimer!**

**Haku: Hanhula does not own Naruto. If she did, she would help me find out which gender I am! I'M SO CONFUSED!**

**Deidara: I know how you feel, un.**

**Itachi: Same here... How many men have ponytails and long eyelashes?**

**Neji: I have to wear a SKIRT. How do you think I feel?**

**Fu: At least Masashi Kishimoto knows which gender you are! Although people are leaning towards female...**

**Haku: Oh, I pity you. You should find a precious person to help you find out.**

**Deidara: Or just look down your pants.**

**Itachi: You are crude.**

**Hidan: SOMEBODY SAY MY MOTHERFUCKING NAME, BITCHES? Oh, it's the tranny gang. I'm outta here, fuckers!**

**Uh... The hell...? Hidan is weird...**

**Deidara: Agreed, un.**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 4: Family and Deidara**

Thanks to the Kyuubi's healing power, Naruto was feeling fine again within days. Itachi had also recovered. They were relaxing with Kisame in his and Itachi's room when Sasori entered.

"Leader-sama has a mission for us. We are to go and recruit a new member, in place of Orochimaru." He said. At some point, Sasori had got back inside of Hiruko, one of his favourite puppets. This form was much more intimidating than his normal puppet form.

"Which of us, Sasori-sensei?" asked Naruto. He had begun to call Sasori his sensei when the puppet had started teaching him medical ninjutsu. Sasori smirked, although it was unseen by the others.

"Me, Itachi, Kisame and you," he replied. Naruto's face lit up. He was finally going to get to go on a mission! Naruto did a mental happy dance.

"So, who's the new member? What's he like?" asked Kisame.

"His name is Deidara. He is an ex-Iwa ninja, and he is eight years old. He has the Explosion Release kekkei genkai, and he also has two extra sets of mouths – one on each hand. He uses them to model clay into sculptures. Thanks to a scroll he stole from Iwa, he can bring his creations to life and detonate them. He calls it 'art' and is very proud of it."

"Another child member, huh? Jeez, there are so many kids in Akatsuki now!" complained the older ninja.

"That just proves that the younger generation are better, doesn't it?" Itachi said, smirking. "Besides, you are hardly an adult yourself. You're 21."

"I guess you're right, Itachi. Well, I'm all set for the mission. You guys all ready?" Kisame asked.

"Um... what do I need to bring?" questioned Naruto. Sasori facepalmed from inside Hiruko. He had forgotten that Naruto knew almost nothing about missions. He still didn't know why Leader-sama had told him to bring Naruto with them.

"I've already packed your things. Sasori, are you ready?" said Itachi, glancing over to the puppet.

"Yes, I am. Let's go then." Naruto silently cheered in his head that he was on a mission! Finally! He wondered what Deidara would be like. Maybe he could make a new friend?

Deidara sneezed. Great. He was already uncomfortable because he was in Hi no Kuni, and now he was getting a cold, too? Just what he needed. He blew up more of his clay sculptures, and enjoyed the fleeting moment of beauty that they showed him. His art was truly wonderful in his eyes.

On the way to Hi no Kuni, Naruto decided to ask Sasori and Kisame about their home villages.

"Sasori-sensei? What was it like in Suna?" he asked, innocently. Sasori closed his eyes for a second, remembering.

"It was very hot there. And very sandy. It was practically summer all year around. The nights were freezing cold, though," he answered after a moment. "Suna forced all children to study at the ninja academy. If they were good enough, they would be promoted to genin. If they weren't, they would remain civilians. I graduated from the Academy very young, and started to create puppets thanks to my grandmother, a woman named Chiyo."

"What about your parents?" Sasori froze for a minute.

"My parents were killed by the White Fang of Konoha," he answered. "I was very young when it happened."

"...oh." There was silence for a few moments, before Naruto spoke again. "Kisame-sensei, what about Kiri? What was it like there?"

"It was pretty awful. It was always misty, so it was always hard for foreign ninjas to find us. I left Kiri when I found out that my master was selling information to the enemy. I killed him and took Samehada. The Yondaime Mizukage, Yagura, congratulated me, but I yelled at him. I was hardly loyal to the village if I was killing its own ninja. Then HE revealed himself, and his plan. I decided I wanted in on it, and soon I joined Akatsuki." said the shark-nin. Sasori and Naruto wondered who 'he' was. "Hey, Naruto. How 'bout you tell us about Konoha? You too, Itachi."

"It's surrounded by a really big forest with lots of scary animals! Once, I found a fox out there and it snuggled up to me, but the villagers saw and threw more stones at me. They were all mean to me. Jiji told me to prove that I was better than them and try and become Hokage one day, but I don't want to anymore!"

"Was anyone nice to you in Konoha, Naruto?"

"Well, Jiji was. And so was Itachi-nii-san! His little brother was silly, though. He had hair like a duck's butt! Oh, and Iruka-sensei was nice to me too! And some of the ANBU. There were a few other people, too – one of Jiji's sons who always smoked and wore a weird sash, a pretty lady with red eyes, a guy with weird spiky white hair who always wore a mask, a really funny woman with purple hair, and..." Naruto shuddered. "The green THING!" Itachi chuckled at Naruto's name for Maito Gai. Sasori and Kisame looked confused.

"Naruto, you mean Sarutobi Asuma, Yuuhi Kurenai, Hatake Kakashi, Mitarashi Anko and Maito Gai. And I see what you mean about Sasuke's hair. It does look rather like the behind of a duck, doesn't it?"

"Who is Maito Gai and why does Naruto call him 'the green thing'?" Kisame asked.

"He's a taijutsu specialist who wears a bright green jumpsuit. He is extremely annoying and never shuts up about 'the power of youth'." Itachi replied. "As for what Konoha was like, most of the villagers hated Naruto for what he has sealed inside of him. They wouldn't dare to do anything whilst I was around, though. The wonderful Uchiha prodigy, that's all I was." Itachi's face twisted into a grim smile. "I don't think many of Konoha's citizens actually see people for who they are."

"I wonder how Suna's jinchuuriki is being treated? When I left, he was only 3 and yet people were maltreating him." pondered Sasori. "Maybe we should ask Leader-sama about taking the younger jinchuuriki and training them together? They would be a formidable force in the future."

"We should just go on and find the strongest children, then. Make an army out of those who are rejected by their villages. Hey, Itachi, we could get your brother to come along." Kisame added. His and Sasori's plan was fairly insane. They were only partially joking.

"Leader-sama might agree to the jinchuuriki children being taken, but I do not think we would be permitted to create a child army." Itachi said. Kisame smirked.

"Nii-san, you never told me what a jinchuuriki was. Is it something to do with Kitsune-chan?" Naruto asked. The three older ninja froze.

"Who's Kitsune-chan?" queried Sasori, breaking the silence. Naruto grinned and hugged himself.

"He's a really big fox who helps get rid of the hebi-teme!" He rubbed his tummy. "He says he lives in here!" Sasori, Kisame and Itachi exchanged glances.

"We will talk about this when we return to the base, Naruto." Itachi said, in a tone that left no room for argument.

"Okay, nii-san!"

A few hours later, the group of Akatsuki found Deidara in a strange temple-like place. Sasori was the first to speak.

"Hello, Deidara-san. We are from Akatsuki. I trust that you know who we are?"

"Y-you're Akasuna no Sasori! And you're Hoshigaki Kisame! And you're Uchiha Itachi and-"Deidara paused. He looked at Naruto in shock, before continuing. "- Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto, the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki, un."

"Wait, what? My name's Uzumaki Naruto, not Namikaze-Uzumaki!" Naruto yelled.

"What, don't you know your own name, un?"

"...Huh?"

"Enough of this banter. We came here to ask you to join us, Deidara-san." Itachi spoke calmly. Deidara glared at the raven-haired Uchiha. Deidara had heard of the Uchiha clan, with their Sharingan eyes.

"And why should I, un? What's in it for me?" hissed the younger ninja. Itachi looked rather bored.

"We won't kill you." he answered.

"NII-SAN! Don't be mean! Deidara-san, you should join! It's really fun and we're going to take over the world and stop all the bad stuff!" yelled Naruto. The three older Akatsuki members mentally facepalmed at Naruto's words. No sane person would actually listen to him.

"Wow, really? Do you think I'd be able to use my art?" gushed Deidara. Well, it seemed that Deidara wasn't quite sane. Sasori turned to face him.

"You are also an artist?" he asked. Sasori already knew the answer, but he wanted a demonstration.

"Yeah! Look!" Deidara held up his hands, revealing a mouth on each palm. He reached one hand into the bag at his side. He brought it out, moved his hand around a bit and opened his hand. A small clay bird flew from his palm. Naruto gaped. Deidara made a hand sign, and yelled.

"Katsu!" There was a small explosion as Deidara detonated the clay bird. Naruto's eyes sparkled in delight.

"Wow! Deidara-san, that was so awesome!"

"It's my art. Thanks to a scroll from Iwa, I can combine my chakra with clay, and use it to make the sculptures, un. They come to life, and I can detonate them at any time. Fine art is the beauty of one fleeting moment, un!" he exclaimed. Sasori snorted.

"Art is eternal. Art is meant to last long into the future... That is true art."

"That may be your way of viewing art, but I prefer mine, un."

"So, are you going to join Akatsuki willingly or are we going to have to make you?" asked Kisame, fingering Samehada. The blonde looked thoughtful.

"Can I fight one of you to see whether if it would be worth my while, un? If they win, I'll join. If I win, you leave me alone."

"That sounds fair. Your opponent will be me." Itachi said, stepping forward. The others backed against the wall.

"Go, nii-san!" cheered Naruto.

The fight between Deidara and Itachi was fairly quick. Itachi managed to catch Deidara in a genjutsu using his Sharingan, and knocked the younger ninja unconscious.

"I have to admit, he is smart. If I did not possess the Sharingan, he would have blown me to pieces." noted Itachi. Sasori woke the blonde up.

"Ugh... My head, un..." he moaned. Naruto laughed.

"Deidara-san! Get up, get up! You're joining the Akatsuki now!" The four of them started to head back to the base. After a while, Deidara broke the silence.

"Question. Why is there a four year old in Akatsuki, un?" Sasori sighed. Kisame decided to answer.

"When Itachi left Konoha, he brought Naruto along with him. Leader-sama decided to let him join for some reason. He's actually fairly powerful, for a four year old."

"Deidara-san-" Naruto began, only to be cut off by Deidara.

"Stop with the 'Deidara-san' thing! I don't need an honorific, un!"

"Sorry... Anyway, who's my dad and how do you know him?"

"Your dad was Namikaze Minato, the Yellow Flash of Konoha and the Yondaime Hokage. Every Iwa shinobi knows his name. I only know he's your dad because I stole some stuff from Konoha once, un. How come you don't know who he was?"

"I don't know either of my parents! Jiji said they were both really strong ninja, but I don't know anything else!"

"Well, I know that your dad was deadly in the war. He decimated Iwa's forces on his own using a weird technique. I don't know anything about your mum though. I thought the Uzumaki clan had died out, un."

"We all thought they had been wiped out with Uzushiogakure," said Kisame. "It seems that there were some survivors. Hey, Itachi, do you know who Naruto's mum was?"

"Yes. She was Uzumaki Kushina, the previous Jinchuuriki of the Nine Tailed Fox. She was a very strong kunoichi. She and Minato were both very kind." Itachi said. Naruto looked at him in surprise.

"You knew my parents, nii-san?"

"Only vaguely. I remember your father hiding in the forest where I was training once."

"Why was he hiding?" asked Kisame, curiously.

"He was hiding from the paperwork, apparently. He found me, and helped me train. I was five at the time. Your mother ran in, yelling something along the lines of 'MINATO! GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE HOKAGE'S OFFICE, DATTEBANE!'"

"And he was the Hokage? ...Wow." Kisame obviously did not think highly of the Yondaime Hokage.

"We're almost at the base. Deidara, Naruto, here are your rings." Sasori handed Deidara a teal ring bearing the kanji for green or blue, and Naruto received a slate blue ring bearing the kanji for sky or void. "Deidara, put yours on your right index finger. Naruto, yours goes on your left little finger." The two put on their rings. Naruto kept looking at his, amazed that he had gotten a ring at all. He recognised it as the one Orochimaru had worn.

"Huh? How come Naruto's getting a ring already?" Kisame asked. Sasori shrugged.

"I suppose Leader-sama decided to make Naruto a full member. I'm not sure where Deidara's came from, though - I haven't seen that ring before." Itachi dispelled the genjutsu on the base, and the group entered. Kakuzu and Hidan were fighting in the main room. Hidan was using his scythe to cut Kakuzu's threads to stop them from coming anywhere near him. Zetsu was eating something very bloody at the table. Pein and Konan were sat on one of the sofas, watching TV. (Even the leader of an evil organisation needs to relax sometimes.) Everyone looked over at the five who had just returned. Kakuzu used the distraction to grab Hidan, and slice his head off. Deidara's jaw dropped. Naruto looked terrified.

"OW! FUCKING HELL KAKUZU! WHY THE BLOODY FUCK DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO CHOP MY FUCKING HEAD OFF? GO FUCK YOURSELF OR SOMETHING, OLD MAN!" yelled Hidan's head. Everyone sweatdropped. "Hey, we got another girl in the organisation! Fuck yeah!" Deidara let out a huge blast of killer intent. Even Pein flinched slightly.

"I. Am. Not. A. Girl. Un." He said, throwing a white clay spider at Hidan's body. "Katsu." There was a loud explosion, and pieces of Hidan's body rained down.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO?" he shrieked, eyes wide.

"I believe he blew up your body. I like you, new kid." Kakuzu said, laughing slightly. Deidara backed away.

"PAEDOPHILE, UN!" Naruto, Kisame and Hidan burst out laughing. Itachi and Sasori smirked. Pein rolled his eyes, and Konan smiled. Zetsu chuckled, and went back to eating the mysterious bloody thing. Kakuzu growled.

"No, Orochimaru was the paedophile. Literally. Why do you think I never slept in the same room as him?" Sasori said, deadly serious. The room went silent.

"Maybe it was a good thing that he left..." Konan mumbled. The others agreed in silence.

"So, what the fuck is your name then, blondie?" Hidan's head said.

"I'm Deidara, and who the hell are you, asshole?"

"I'm Hidan. The paedo-" Kakuzu kicked Hidan's head. "OW! -Is Kakuzu. The plant-guy with two personalities is Zetsu. The guy with awesome piercings is Leader-sama, and the blue-haired chick is Konan. I'm guessing you already know Pinocchio, Sharkboy, the Queen Emo, and Spaz." Hidan had evidently taken it upon himself to introduce everyone. Deidara and Naruto laughed at the nicknames Hidan had given to everyone.

"Kakuzu, can you sew Hidan back together? I want to kick his ass." Kisame snarled, grinning at the same time. Hidan looked scared, and started to edge towards the door.

"Yes, please do. I'd like to test out my new puppets." Sasori added.

"And I have some new techniques I'd like to practice." Itachi said coldly

"Enough." Everyone looked at Pein. "Sasori, take Deidara to his and your room. Deidara, please don't blow anything up inside. We have an outside training area, you can use that. Naruto, please come with me." He got up and headed towards the door. Naruto followed. Pein walked to his office, and beckoned Naruto inside.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I called you here." he began. Naruto nodded. "Well, it's about your family. I understand that Deidara and Itachi told you who they were?"

"Yeah, they did! Do you know more about them?"

"I know little of them, but I can teach you some of their jutsus when you are older. It's your mother's clan that I would like to talk to you about. The Uzumaki clan."

"There's an Uzumaki clan?"

"There was. A while ago, there was a very strong ninja village in Uzu no Kuni. The ninja there were extremely strong, and very talented with fuinjutsu. But their strength caused many to hate them. The village of Uzushiogakure was attacked, and destroyed. There were very few survivors. There are only a few that I know of. A few Uzumaki, like your mother, settled in Konoha. The other Uzumaki that I know of... were my parents. I don't remember their names. You see, I am Uzumaki Nagato. You and I are the last known members of the Uzumaki clan."

Naruto was stunned into silence. The leader of the Akatsuki... was related to him. It was a little too much to take in. Naruto had never had a proper family. Sure, he had some friends amongst the jounin who looked after him sometimes, but no family. He wasn't even sure what family was like.

"You mean... I have family?" he whispered. Pein nodded. "I don't... I've never had family... I don't really know what family is like..."

"Your family takes care of you. They look after you and make sure you are happy. I lost my family when I was very young. It was Konoha's shinobi who killed them. This incident was my first pain. It caused me to awaken my Rinnegan."

"Oh. So Konoha is bad? And... what do I call you now? You're too old to be my brother... And what's a Rinnegan?"

"Some of Konoha is bad. Not all. The Rinnegan is the Uzumaki clan's Kekkei Genkai - or bloodline limit. As it is an eye technique, it is known as a doujutsu. It's the purple circles in my eye. And as for what you should call me... I don't really know. Maybe just call me... father?" Pein sounded a little nervous as he finished speaking. Naruto looked thoughtful. His face broke into a big smile after a few moments.

"Otou-san. Yeah! It sounds right! Will I ever get the Rinnegan, then? I'm an Uzumaki too!"

"I truly hope you never have to experience that kind of pain, Naruto. But if you do... well, we shall see. For now though, I am going to train you." Naruto looked at his new otousan in shock.

"You're going to train me? But.. I'm four years old!"

"You are extremely mature and smart for a four year old. Your training will begin now. I believe some of the other members have taught you some techniques?"

"Yeah! Niisan taught me how to use Kage Bunshin and the basic Henge no jutsu as well as some chakra control, and Kisame-sensei taught me some basic taijutsu. Sasori-sensei started to teach me a bit of medical ninjutsu, too!"

"So you know a bit of ninjutsu and taijutsu, as well as some medical ninjutsu. I will have Itachi train you in genjutsu, as that is his speciality. Sasori, Kakuzu and Konan will be able to teach you medical ninjutsu. Kisame will teach you kenjutsu and taijutsu, and I shall train you in elemental ninjutsu and fuinjutsu. I think Deidara and Hidan will need a bit of training as well, so they shall be your training partners when none of you are on missions. Does this sound fair to you, Naruto?"

"Hai, otousan!" Naruto was beaming. Pein smiled slightly.

"Another thing. What do you know of the Kyuubi no Youko?"

"What's the Kyuubi? Deidara mentioned it too. Is it something to do with me being a jin... jinchuuriki?"

"Yes. The Kyuubi no Youko is the Nine-Tailed Fox demon. It is one of nine bijuu, or tailed beasts. Four years ago on October 10th, the Kyuubi broke free from its jinchuuriki and attacked Konoha. Its previous jinchuuriki was your mother, by the way. Your father sacrificed himself to seal it inside you. This makes you its current jinchuuriki. A jinchuuriki is a demon container, someone who has a demon sealed inside of him or her. Most of the time, they are hated by their villages. I know of three other jinchuuriki around your age – a Suna boy named Gaara who possesses the Ichibi, a Kumo girl named Yugito who possesses the Nibi and a Taki girl named Fuu who possesses the Nanabi. I am telling you about this as the Akatsuki aim to capture all the jinchuuriki eventually. Also, you will slowly learn how to control the Kyuubi's power and use it as your own. I understand that you have already met the Kyuubi?" Naruto was beginning to get a headache from all the information.  
>"Um, if you mean Kitsune-chan, then yeah! He's a really big fox who helps gets rid of that hebi-teme!"<p>

"That sounds about right. Who is the 'hebi-teme'?"

"The white snake! I think Oro-teme controls it. It tells me to give in to its power and to go to Orochimaru. I don't like it. It hurts me. It almost took over once." Pein froze in shock. _The seal. It has to be. I must find a way to seal that mark so it won't hurt Naruto anymore._

"Hmm. I will try and think of a way to stop that. Come and see me tomorrow, and I will see what I can do. It sounds like Orochimaru has placed a seal on you."

"Okay, otousan!"

"You will have one week to relax until your training begins. Go have fun, Naruto-kun." Naruto grinned, and ran out the door. Pein sighed. Naruto had given him a lot to think about.

**A/N**

**Holy shit. Over 4000 words? Whaaat.**

**I really hope you all like this. It's a little late, I've been busy with school. But now it's the holidays! Hooray!**

**I have serious writer's block for my other story, though... I think I'm just going to upload what I have on it.**

**So as I said at the start of the chapter, I still don't really know what pairing to do. If you are going to vote for a pairing, REVIEW CHAPTER 3. Any votes on this chapter or any later chapter will be ignored.**

**Also, to whoever decided to anonymously vote for Temari about 40 times, I am only counting your vote ONCE. I'm not stupid, guys!**

**Hope you enjoyed this ridiculously long chapter. Please review! I'll make you watch Justin Bieber's Never Say Never if you don't!**

**Oh, and next chapter will either be a 3 year time jump, or a training chapter. Not sure yet.**


	5. Chapter 5: The First Timeskip

**A/N**

**This chapter contains an epic timeskip. Three years have gone by. Not quite as big of a timeskip as in Zelda, (come on, 7 YEARS?) though.**

**In this, we introduce Fuu. I'm writing her name like that as it is a pain in the ass (not you, Nagato) to find the ****ū**** symbol all the time. I do the same with things like the Kyuubi no Youko.**

**Also, POOR DEIDARA. Pedomaru must die!**

**Deidara: What..? What happens to me?**

**Uh... it doesn't matter?**

**Sasori: Please don't kill him.**

**Why not?  
>Deidara: DON'T KILL ME, UN! AAAH!<strong>

**DO THE BLOODY DISCLAIMER!**

**Sasori: Hanhula does not own Naruto.**

**Deidara: If she did, she'd prove that my art is better, un!**

**Sasori: No she wouldn't... she'd prove that MINE is better.**

**Actually, I like them both... like music. It's fleeting and eternal!  
>Konan: Pft. Mine's even better. Origami!<strong>

**Sai: This proves that you must have a penis to know true art.**

**Konan: WHAT?**

**Sai: And none of you have penises.**

**Deidara: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, UN!**

**Sasori: DIE!**

**Konan: ORIGAMI NO JUTSU!**

**And now, MUDKIP NO JUTSU!**

**Mud! Kip! Mud! Kip!  
>Everyone: O_o WE SURRENDER.<strong>

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 5: The First Timeskip**

Just over three years have passed since Deidara, Naruto and Hidan joined the Akatsuki. All three are now much stronger, particularly a certain blonde. No, not Deidara, you idiot! Look at the title of the story! And now, onto the story. This isn't the Author's Notes, after all.

Kisame and Naruto were training together. Kisame was using Samehada, whilst Naruto was using an ordinary sword. Needless to say, Naruto was losing. Hidan was finishing a ritual nearby. Kisame managed to knock Naruto's sword out of his hand.

"What did I tell you about not letting your opponent disarm you?" he chastised, as Naruto picked the sword back up.

"If I hadn't dropped the sword, Samehada would have broken it in half. We already broke twenty-seven swords, I don't want to make Kakuzu even angrier!"

"You have a point. We really need to get you a better sword. Hmm, last time I met with one of the other Swordsmen, he told me about a powerful sword in a forest somewhere. Maybe I'll go find him again. Hidan! Are you done with your ritual yet?" The Jashinist withdrew a sharp black spear from his heart, and stood up.

"Yeah, I'm just about done. Why?"

"Spar with Naruto. I need to think about where this guy'll be right now."

"Okay, sensei! Hey, Naruto-chan, you think you can beat me this time?" Naruto pointed his sword at Hidan.

"Hell yeah, dattebayo!" He charged at Hidan. The latter grabbed his triple-bladed scythe and blocked just in time. The sound of metal crashing against metal echoed across the training grounds. Suddenly, there was a yell, followed by a small explosion between the two. They both spun around and pointed their weapons at the newcomer.

"Deidara, what the hell was that for? I was beating him!" Naruto whined, pouting. Deidara laughed.

"I'm bored, un! There is nothing to do around here! Sasori's busy making new puppets, like he doesn't have enough, Kakuzu and Itachi are on a mission, and so is Zetsu, and I'm not going to even bother finding out what Leader-sama and Konan are doing, un!"

"Well, then you just come down here and train like us, you lazy fucking tranny!" yelled Hidan. The Jashinist didn't like his fights being interrupted.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, UN? I KEEL YOU!" Deidara grabbed some clay and began throwing it at Hidan. The Jashinist began to run away, laughing his ass off.  
>"HEY! Don't leave me out of this!" And Naruto was off, blasting them both with random Suiton and Fuuton jutsu. Pein had discovered that Naruto's chakra was both wind and water natured at some point during the three years. Naruto did know other jutsu, but he was best at Suiton and Fuuton. Kisame looked over at the three, and sweatdropped. Naruto and Deidara had ganged up on Hidan, who was running for his life.<p>

"OI! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TRAINING KENJUTSU! AT LEAST USE TAIJUTSU, YOU IDIOTS!" he yelled, before concentrating again. He decided that Momochi Zabuza was probably in Nami no Kuni, as Zabuza always did like that place. It had some pretty good training areas, after all. His thoughts were interrupted by a massive explosion coming from inside the base, followed by a roar of anger.

"DEIDARA! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND TURN YOU INTO ONE OF MY PUPPETS!" Hidan and Naruto looked at Deidara, who had paled. Sasori appeared seemingly from nowhere, and charged at them. They shrieked, and ran into the base to hide. Kisame chuckled, and followed after them.

Itachi had just returned from his mission with Kakuzu, and had been told to fetch the other Akatsuki members. However, he did not expect three of them to run straight into him. He, Naruto, Hidan and Deidara got tangled up in a heap on the floor. Sasori ran around the corner seconds after they had fallen, followed by Kisame.

"Would you three kindly get off me? Leader-sama is calling a meeting, and we all have to be there. The others are waiting for us." Itachi said coldly. The trio detached themselves from him, and the group started to head towards the meeting hall. About two years ago, Pein had decided to designate one room as the meeting hall, as he was getting annoyed by everyone cramming themselves into his office. The room was huge, dark and cold. The walls and floor were made of dark stone. The only lights were the candles that sat in indentations in the walls. When they arrived, they found that they were the last to arrive.

"Ah, you finally decided to join us." Pein's calm voice echoed across the room. Sasori was glaring at Deidara, who was hiding behind Hidan. "Sit down." They did as he ordered. Everyone knew to remain quiet unless they had something important to say. "You may be wondering why I called this meeting. Well, after much thought, I have decided that we are going to begin to retrieve the other jinchuuriki." Itachi, Konan and Kisame looked at Pein in shock. He ignored them. "Sasori, Kakuzu, Naruto, you will go and fetch Fuu of Takigakure. She is the jinchuuriki of the Nanabi. Make her come willingly. Naruto, you do not need to worry – we will not be extracting the bijuu. There are no time restrictions. You three are dismissed." Sasori, Naruto and Kakuzu stood up and left.

Naruto was very quiet as he prepared his things. He was going to get to meet another jinchuuriki! He equipped himself quickly, put on his cloak and hat, and walked downstairs to meet the others. Sasori (who was sitting in Hiruko) was already there. Kakuzu came down a minute later. The group left in silence.

They were half-way to Takigakure when somebody spoke. Amazingly, it was Kakuzu who broke the silence.

"You should probably know some things about Taki. The ninja there are all fairly weak. Last time I checked, there were hardly any ninja at jounin level, let alone above that. The jinchuuriki herself is around the same age as you, Naruto. She is at low-chuunin level, thanks to her bijuu. The entire village hates her, so she learns from scrolls that she takes from the Taki library."

"Do all villagers hate their village's jinchuuriki?" asked Naruto, showing no emotions. It was like he was wearing a mask. Sasori frowned, wondering what Naruto was thinking. It was scary seeing him like this.

"From what Zetsu told me, there are very few jinchuuriki that are liked," replied Kakuzu, glancing at Naruto's blank face. "I believe the jinchuuriki of the Hachibi, the Nibi and the Sanbi are the only ones that are treated well in their home villages."

"It should be easy to convince Fuu to come with us then, dattebayo."

It was a few more hours until they reached Taki. They saw a crowd gathered around one girl, yelling things at her. She lashed out, throwing them away from her, and fled into the forest.

"I think we just found our target," murmured Sasori. Kakuzu nodded. Naruto was glaring at the villagers.

"Naruto, calm down. Sasori, get out of Hiruko. I think Fuu will be more inclined to join us if she sees that we have people around her age." As soon as Kakuzu finished speaking, Naruto took off towards the forest. Sasori sighed, and stepped out of Hiruko, sealing his puppet into a scroll. He and Kakuzu then followed behind the blonde.

Fuu hated her life.

Every day she was forced to do missions for the village, only to return and be beaten by the villagers. She was starting to contemplate suicide, but the Nanabi wouldn't let her. The Nanabi was her only true friend. Contrary to popular belief, not all the bijuu were power-hungry maniacs. Hers was peaceful, but would fight back against those who tried to harm Fuu.

She had just returned from a week-long escort mission when they attacked her again. She sighed, and used a blast of chakra to get them away from her. She started running into the forest. The forest was the place she felt happiest. The villagers never went in there because of all the dangerous traps and animals. The other ninja also stayed away, as they knew that they would die if they attacked Fuu within her own home. It was then that she felt them. Three people with extremely large amounts of chakra. All of them were following her. One of them was getting extremely close. She froze, and turned around.

A blonde boy with tanned skin and whisker marks on his cheeks was running towards her. He was wearing a black cloak with red clouds against a white background.

'_**He is like us!'**_

'_What? What do you mean?'_

'_**He has a bijuu inside of him! But... that cloak... he is a member of Akatsuki?'**_

Fuu recognised that name. The Akatsuki were an extremely powerful organisation made up of S-rank missing-nin.

"Hey! You're Fuu, right?" yelled the boy, stopping a few meters away from her. He had extremely bright blue eyes.

"Who wants to know?" she hissed back. He flinched.

"No need to be so mean..." he mumbled. Fuu immediately felt bad. He was clearly around the same age as her. "Anyway, I'm Naruto! You're a jinchuuriki too, right?"

"Yes... which one do you have?"

"I've got the Kyuubi no Youko sealed inside me! You've got the Nanabi, right?"

"How do you know that?"

"I have my ways. Hey, Kakuzu-sensei! Sasori-sensei! I found her!" Two others arrived. One was a teenage boy with blood-red hair. He wore no hitai-ate. The other was... Kakuzu. Fuu had heard of him in whispers from the villagers. He was a famous missing-nin who left Taki many years ago, killing all of the elders. He was blamed for the village being so weak. Fuu suppose it's a good thing he killed the elders, otherwise she would have been killed by now.

"Ah, you are Fuu?" said the teenager. She assumed this was Sasori. _'Wait – Sasori? As in Akasuna no Sasori? Whoa, strong people! What do they want with me?'_

"So what if I am? What do the Akatsuki want with me?" Fuu asked, trying to not freak out over the fact that two extremely strong missing-ninja and the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi were standing right in front of her. She hoped that they didn't want to fight her.

"Our leader wants you to join us!" chirped Naruto. Fuu blinked.

"W-what? Me? Join Akatsuki?"

"Yes. We don't know why, but we were ordered to make you come with us. Do you want to come or do we have to try and convince you?" Sasori sounded extremely bored.

'_**I say we join them. If the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki is with them, it should be fine. Besides, it'll get us away from this hellhole.'**_

'_You're right, it will!'_

She looked at the trio, and nodded. "I'll come. Anything to get me away from here. This place sucks."

"Agreed." Kakuzu finally spoke. Fuu glanced at him.

"Woohoo! I finally get to meet another jinchuuriki!" Naruto cheered. Sasori sweatdropped.

"Come on. We've got to get back to the base," said the ex-Suna ninja, getting back into Hiruko. Naruto and Fuu talked about random things (such as why the sky was blue) all the way back, whilst Kakuzu and Sasori walked in silence.

When they reached the base, they heard a massive explosion and a yell. Sasori's eyed widened, and he started running towards the entrance, heading for his room. He hoped that Deidara hadn't- oh, damn.

"DEIDARA!" He wasn't lucky enough. Deidara had destroyed half of the room. Naruto laughed, and Fuu looked confused. Kakuzu sighed.

"You two go do whatever you want. I'll inform Leader-sama of our success." And he was gone.

"Hey, Fuu! I'll show you around the base! Dunno where your room's gonna be, but you might as well be shown around so you don't get lost!" The jinchuuriki pair spent a few hours wandering around the base. Hidan showed up after a while. He looked angry.

"Oh, you're back? Who the fuck's this bitch?" he yelled. Fuu rolled her eyes.

"I'm Fuu. I'm guessing from the albino look and knife through your chest that you're Hidan?"

"Hell yeah! Hey, either of you two motherfuckers seen Dei? He blew up my room again and I can't find him anywhere!"

"Nope." The two jinchuuriki chorused. Itachi chose that moment to appear.

"Have any of you seen Deidara?"

"We were just wondering where he is. Oh, Fuu – this is Uchiha Itachi. Nii-san, this is Fuu!" Naruto introduced Fuu, who waved. Itachi nodded to her. A plantlike man appeared from the ground. Fuu looked confused. Naruto giggled at her expression.

"Itachi, he's not in the base.** We looked everywhere we could think of. **Don't know where he is. **Don't particularly care, either... **Don't be mean!" said both of Zetsu's sides. "Oh, you're Fuu. We didn't know you were already here. **Baka! They probably just got back! **Oh, right. We're Zetsu, by the way."

"...You have a plant on your head." She said, staring.

"So? **Do you have a problem with that?**"

"IT'S FREAKING AWESOME!" Everyone jumped at her sudden yell. Hidan and Naruto laughed in unison. Itachi facepalmed.

"I think that's the first time that we've ever gotten that reaction from someone. **She's nice.** We have to go look for the idiot blonde now. **I hope he's not dead. He probably tastes of clay.**" Zetsu left as suddenly as he had arrived. All the present Akatsuki members flinched, looking at their rings.

"Leader-sama wants us for a meeting. Fuu, follow us." Itachi said, starting to walk down the hallway. Hidan, Naruto and Fuu followed behind. They were all wondering where Deidara was.

"As you can see, one of us is missing. It seems that Deidara was attacked. I cannot find any trace of his attackers. The only sign that he was even attacked was that explosion earlier, and the yell that accompanied it." Pein said, looking at everyone in turn. "You also may have noticed that we have a new member. This is Fuu, the jinchuuriki of the Nanabi." The two who had not met Fuu yet, Konan and Kisame, nodded to her. Konan smiled. She was no longer the only girl.

"Leader-sama, we found something that could identify the attackers. **You're gonna be angry.**" Zetsu held up the remains of a white snake. The curse mark on Naruto's neck burned, and he hissed in pain.

"_**Orochimaru! You will die!" **_The Kyuubi's voice echoed through the room. Fuu visibly flinched. Her eyes changed colour from her normal vibrant orange to a deep midnight blue, tinged with pale green.

"_**Kyuubi-sama, please calm down." **_Unlike the Kyuubi's deep, intimidating voice, the Nanabi's was harsh but clearly female. Naruto met her gaze, and both of their eyes faded back to their ordinary colours. Everyone was speechless.

"What just happened?" Kisame asked, looking between the two jinchuuriki.

"I believe we just witnessed the bijuu," murmured Pein. "It seems that Orochimaru has taken Deidara, then. All of us are to work together to bring him back. Zetsu, do you know where he is currently hiding?"

"He is building a new ninja village. It is located in Ta no Kuni, which has recently been renamed to Oto no Kuni. He also has other bases scattered throughout the world, but it is most likely that he will have Deidara at his main base. **He was most likely taken because he is weak compared to the rest of us, and he is friends with Naruto.**"

"Itachi, Sasori, Kisame and Hidan will go to Oto no Kuni and search there. Kakuzu, Konan, you two will use your connections to search for any sign of him. Zetsu, you will keep looking for him as well. If any of you find anything, communicate it to the others using your rings. Naruto, Fuu, you two will stay here and train. You are not strong enough to go up against Orochimaru. Remember, he is one of the Sannin. I will stay here and train these two. If any of you run into trouble, I will send one of my other paths as backup. You are all dismissed." Slowly, the room emptied. Konan stayed behind.

"Nagato... what do you think he is doing?" she whispered. He frowned.

"He is trying to lure Naruto to him. It's a risk letting Itachi go there, but he is strong enough. I don't want to lose Naruto. As it is, if Deidara is lost then he will be extremely upset."

"I'm worried. What if-"

"Pein, what are you doing with the jinchuuriki?" The two remaining Ame Orphans spun around. The candlelight illuminated the mask of Uchiha Madara.

"I am going to recruit them all. If we can somehow extract the demons without them dying, it would be extremely beneficial."

"You're going soft. You just don't want your Naruto-kun to die, do you? Heh." He disappeared into the darkness. Konan fell to the ground, sobbing.

"He... he's going to kill Naruto anyway... isn't he?" Pein closed his eyes, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him, her amber eyes filled with tears.

"We'll just have to stop him then."

Madara watched the scene from the shadows, rolling his eyes. They were too easy to mess with. '_Tobi thinks Madara is being a bad boy!' _Madara clenched his jaw.

'Shut. Up. TOBI.'

After Naruto and Fuu had left, they realised that they didn't actually know where Fuu was supposed to be sleeping. The others were all preparing to leave, so they couldn't ask them.

"Uh... I know! We can ask one of tousan's other bodies!" Naruto exclaimed, after an hour of them wandering around looking for someone. He grabbed Fuu's wrist and dragged her over to a room marked 'Do Not Enter'. He banged on the door.

"TOU-SAN!" he yelled. The door opened, revealing the Animal Path. (The male one – this is before Jiraiya kills the Animal Path and it is replaced by a female.)

"What do you need now, Naruto? You should be sleeping. It's late." Fuu gaped. This man was speaking in the exact same voice as the leader. He also had the same eyes and hair colour. She felt a bit dizzy.

"We don't know where Fuu's supposed to be staying! And everyone else is busy so we couldn't ask them, dattebayo!" The Animal Path sighed.

"Follow me." He led the duo to a room that was fairly close to Naruto's. He then took a key from inside his robes and gave it to Fuu. "This is your room, Fuu. Now I have to go." The Animal Path disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Naruto... who the hell was that?" asked the Nanabi's jinchuuriki. Naruto looked puzzled.

"What, couldn't you tell? That was tou-san, a.k.a. the leader!"

"But he looked completely different in the meeting!"

"He has more than one body."

"WHAT? How- wha- huh?"

"...Don't worry about it... Just go to sleep, okay? See ya in the morning, Fuu-chan!"

"Night, Naruto-kun!"

**A/N**

**Well.**

**That took a while.**

**Not as many words as last chapter – about 3400.**

**Review or I won't update. Reviews make me want to write more. They inspire me. So review, goddammit!**

**Also, can you please say what you like and don't like? I'd like suggestions on how to improve, please. Reviewing with 'THIS IS GREAT' is awesome, but still...**

**Thanks :D**

**Oh, also? I've been writing out everyone's ages and the timeline etc. If anyone's interested, I can post that as a bonus chapter. I've got a few ideas for those – Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Bonfire Night, Valentine's Day...**


	6. Chapter 6: Torture and Salvation

**A/N:**

_**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY BE SLIGHTLY DISTURBING.**_

**I would write that in red text, but FF doesn't let you have coloured text. Anyway, here's the sixth chapter of NU:SotA.**

**Oh, before you go on... I'd like to recommend another story to you. It's called The Many Misadventures of Torigan Shai, and it's by Sebastian's Girl Felicia. So far there are two or three proper chapters up. I'm the one who's editing it (and no offence to Felicia, but it needs the editing!) so it's awesome & stuff. Go read & review it or I'll have Hidan eviscerate you.**

**Hidan: HELL YEAH!**

**Shut up and do the disclaimer.**

**Hidan: Hanhula doesn't own Naruto. Or me. Even though I'm in Naruto. THAT SOUNDS FUCKING GROSS! HIDAxNARU IS WEIRD!**

**Naruto: Agreed, dattebayo!**

**The reviewers seem to disagree.**

**Both: O_o what.**

**Ehehe... on with the chapter!**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 6: The Search for Deidara**

Pain. Everywhere, there was pain. The needles piercing his pale skin, the knives creating red gashes. The touch of cold hands. The weird noises that reached his ears. And the strange feeling of being violated.

_Danna... it hurts..._

The sound of harsh laughter filled his ears, before his body was once more subjected to torture. A sharp pain blossomed on his chest, and he screamed out in agony.

_Help me... please..._

And then everything went dark, and he knew no more.

In the forests of Ta no Kuni, recently renamed Oto no Kuni, four cloaked figures were looking for something. Not much was known of this area, as its residents were fairly secretive.

"Guys... we need to stop and rest. We can't continue if we have no energy. Orochimaru will just kill us," panted one of the figures. A closer look revealed him as Hoshigaki Kisame, wielder of Samehada and member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. His companions paused, and turned to him.

"A break sounds really fucking good. We've been looking for five days, after all," said another. Even in the darkness of the moonlit forest, it was clear that the one who had spoken was Hidan, an immortal Jashinist.

"You all rest. I shall be on guard duty. We'll stay here for no longer than four hours," commanded a boy who looked like a teenager, but was so much more. He was Akasuna no Sasori, a master puppeteer. He had decided to not travel inside of Hiruko, a puppet, to make travelling faster. After all, time was of the essence. The last member, Uchiha Itachi, nodded and withdrew a scroll from his cloak. It contained sleeping bags for three of them.

Meanwhile, in a small, crowded bar, a masked man with dark skin was speaking with one of his associates. The associate was an obedient man, who was also quite intelligent. He was a perfect spy.

"Orochimaru? I've been doing some research on him as you asked. He is studying kekkei genkai. I've heard that he's started to kidnap people with bloodline limits to try and reproduce them."

"Do you know where I might be able to find him?" asked Kakuzu, his strange eyes staring straight into the other man's. The man thought for a moment before shaking his head.

"No. He covers his tracks very well. The only possible lead that I know of is Ta no Kuni, which was recently renamed to Oto no Kuni, but even that is vague." Kakuzu nodded, standing up.

"I have people following up that lead as we speak. Keep looking for more information."

A few hours later, the group of four was on the move again. They were all extremely determined to find the one that they were searching for - Deidara. Hidan was a little nervous at being so close to Yugakure, his home village, and Itachi was worried about both Orochimaru and Konoha. Kisame was looking forward to a fight. Sasori just wanted to rescue his partner before the paedophilic snake could lay his hands on the young blonde.

"Sasori, you were partners with the snake-fucker, weren't you?" asked Hidan. Sasori looked over at the Jashinist.

"Yes. I was. Any particular reason why you're asking this?"

"Well, you'll know some of his attacks and maybe his weaknesses. If you tell us, we can exploit them!"

"You have a point. Orochimaru is skilled at taijutsu, kenjutsu, genjutsu and fuinjutsu. He has wind and earth chakra natures, and he knows many ninjutsu techniques." Sasori paused for a moment. "He is also a paedophile." He spat out. The younger two stared at him. Kisame sighed. Itachi hadn't known Orochimaru for very long, and Hidan had only had a brief run-in with the snake sannin. However, Kisame had been in the Akatsuki slightly longer that Sasori, and had known what Orochimaru had done.

"Orochimaru once... did things to Sasori when Sasori was recovering after a mission." The puppeteer flinched, and glared at Kisame. "Don't look at me like that! They should know! Anyway, he was punished pretty badly by Leader-sama and Konan. That woman is sadistic." Hidan was open-mouthed, and Itachi looked shocked.

"We have to kill this motherfucker. And soon." Hidan said darkly, doing up his Akatsuki robe for once. "Shit just got real."

"Ah, you wish to know more about Orochimaru, Tenshi-sama?" A blue-haired kunoichi stood in shadow, speaking to a group of four men who were kneeling before her. "The only information that we have been able to gather is that he has been spending much more time in his main base in Oto no Kuni. He has also been in a strange mood lately. He seems... pleased with himself." One of them said. Konan smiled slightly, and nodded to them.

"Thank you. Please, keep listening for information. One of my close friends is in danger." And with that, she disappeared, accompanied by the rustling sound of paper. The four men stared in awe, before leaving to gather more information for the angelic woman.

"Naruto, if you just charge in then your enemy will easily detect and avoid you. Why can you not seem to understand this?" Pein chastised. Fuu giggled at the blonde, who was becoming increasingly frustrated. The three of them were training. Pein was attempting to teach Naruto to use his head before he started attacking.

"It's not my fault that I'm not very good at planning! Using Kage Bunshin works for me at the moment, doesn't it?"

"What happens if the enemy can tell the difference? Then the Kage Bunshin no jutsu will be useless." Fuu said. Naruto growled and began forming handsigns.

"Fuuton: Air Cutter no Jutsu!" he yelled. A blade of air sped towards Fuu, who dodged out of the way.

"You think I'm that weak? Doton: Rock Blast no Jutsu!" she called out. Rocks tore themselves out of the ground and flew at Naruto. He used them as platforms to get up high, and started to form his next jutsu.

"Well, try this then! Suiton: Bakusui Shouta! Raiton: Thunder Wave!" The first of Naruto's jutsu caused him to blast water from his mouth, causing giant waves. The second blasted an electric charge through the water, paralyzing Fuu.

"Naruto, cancel your jutsus. You finally started using tactics there to gain higher ground, and then to paralyze your opponent. Fuu, you can't let yourself be hit by his attacks. If Naruto had used a stronger Raiton technique, like his Thunderbolt, you would be dead. Water amplifies the damage. You also must not let paralysis distract you – ignore the pain, and try and heal yourself." Fuu nodded, and winced. Naruto looked thoughtful.

"Ignore pain? So we ignore you, tou-san?" He asked. There were two quiet smacks as Fuu and Pein both facepalmed.

At the edge of Oto no Kuni, a group of Oto ninja were talking amongst themselves. A certain plantlike ninja with two personalities listened carefully from his hiding place underground.

"Dude, that blonde guy's a complete loser. He's probably a tranny too." One of them said, catching the attention of Zetsu. Were they talking about Deidara?

"Lord Orochimaru seems to like him. Hey, didn't you get to help torture him, Kizu?" The one named Kizu chuckled darkly at his friend's words.

"Yeah. He's a real good fuck. Nice ass, too. Did you know that he's actually from the Akatsuki?" he said. The others laughed. Zetsu froze. They were talking about Deidara. It seemed that Orochimaru had tortured the poor kid. Sasori wouldn't be happy. Neither would Pein.

"Whoa, seriously? They must have been desperate after Orochimaru-sama left." The first ninja said. "Hey, what's the time?"

"Oh, crap! It's time to go! We've gotta get back to the base, or we'll be experimented on!" another hissed out, looking scared. Everyone froze, expressions of horror on their faces.

"Shit! You're right! We're gonna have to run!" The group quickly got up, and ran. Zetsu followed them. They led him straight to an underground base. Zetsu began to communicate with the other Akatsuki members using their rings to tell them what he had found out.

"We have learned that Orochimaru has been torturing Deidara. **We found some Oto ninja. Apparently, Dei's been raped too. **We also learnt the location of one of the bases. Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan – it's near the border with Yugakure. You may want to check it out."

The responses were quick.

"_DEIDARA'S BEEN WHAT? I'LL FUCKING KILL THAT SICK MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE! AND WHY DOES THEIR BASE HAVE TO BE NEAR YUGAKURE?" _– Hidan

"_We'll head over there now... how can one man be so disturbing?" _– Itachi

"_He...He's going to die, now! I'll kill him! Ahahaha!" _– Sasori

"_What the hell is wrong with him? Deidara's eleven! Oh crap, I think this broke Sasori... he's laughing like a maniac..." _– Kisame

"_It looks like my last lesson wasn't enough for him. None of my spies managed to find any proper information, either."_ – Konan

"_Orochimaru disgusts me. And my spies found that he was doing research on kekkei genkai, presumably to make himself stronger." _– Kakuzu

"_Did you really have to include every detail? Naruto can hear this too..." –_ Pein

"_**HE DID WHAT TO DEI?"**_– Naruto

"_...oh, not again... Hurry up and find Deidara." _– Pein

Itachi was the first one to locate the base that Zetsu had told them about. It was mostly underground. The four Akatsuki members managed to infiltrate it fairly easily, as many Oto ninja were returning. They split into teams of two, and began to look for Deidara or Orochimaru. Sasori and Hidan ran into Orochimaru after a few minutes. Itachi and Kisame sensed his chakra and came running.

"Ah, Sasori-kun, Itachi-kun and Hidan-kun! So nice of you to visit! And you too, Kisame. How's life been for you all?" Sasori's back blades **(A/N: I don't know what to call them...)** extended, whilst Hidan and Kisame aimed their own weapons at him. Itachi activated his Sharingan. "Now, now, what's with all the hostility?"

"Where is Deidara?" Hidan snarled. Orochimaru's smirk widened and stepped towards them.

"Hmm? Why would you think I have your wayward partner? Did somebody find one of my presents?" Kisame swung Samehada towards the snakelike man. Sasori, who had jumped inside Hiruko, used the scorpion tail to stab Orochimaru's heart. Hidan ran to the side and threw his triple-bladed scythe.

"Ah, by the way... you're too late, Dei-chan is being moved elsewhere as we speak. Goodbye!" Orochimaru said as the weapons collided with him. The body that fell to the floor was not his.

"Fuck!" cursed Hidan, pulling his scythe from the corpse. "What the hell do we do now?"

"We should search for any clues to where Deidara could have been taken. We should also look for the cell in which he was kept in to see if there is anything that could help us there. Sasori, Hidan, you two go look for the dungeons. Kisame and I will search the rest of the base." The puppeteer and the Jashinist ran to the left, searching every room. It didn't take them much time to find the prison cells. There were many prisoners still in there.

"Please, set us free!" one pleaded, throwing himself at the bars. Hidan turned to the man.

"I'll release you if you tell me something."

"I'll tell you anything you want! Just get me out of here!" the man yelled, shaking the iron bars pitifully.

"Which cell was Deidara in? He's a pale blonde guy with mouths on his hands, did you see him at all?"

"Over there... the one which is open. They took him from there earlier today." Hidan grinned, and withdrew his scythe. He sliced the unfortunate prisoner's head off, and carved the symbol of Jashin into his chest.

"There. You're released from this life." Hidan grabbed his rosary. "Jashin-sama, please accept this sacrifice and allow us to find our friend." Meanwhile, Sasori had walked over to the cell that the prisoner had pointed out to them. It was a small stone room. Blood and semen covered the walls and floor. There were many scratches in the wall. Some of the marks seemed to spell out a message. Sasori bent down, trying to read the messy writing.

"'Im sorry sori Im gonna die im gonna go boom? What...?" murmured Sasori. Hidan saw the message.

"What the hell? It looks like it says something like 'I'm sorry, sorry I'm gonna die, I'm going to go boom?" or something." He said, trying to make sense of it. "But why the fuck would he spell 'sorry' right the first time then wrong the next?"

"Perhaps you got it wrong." Hidan and Sasori turned to see Itachi and Kisame standing there. Kisame held a camera.

"I've photographed everything that we found, which wasn't much. I'll take a picture of this, too, it might come in handy later," said Kisame. They moved out of the way to let him.

"You were saying, Itachi?" Sasori asked, wondering what Itachi was thinking.

"Sasori, what are the last four letters of your name? As for the 'going boom' thing, remember what he calls art." The clues fell into place. Hidan decided to state the obvious.

"So he's saying sorry to Sasori, and he's saying that he's going to explode and die. Just fucking great." He said, frowning. "What do we do now?"

"Now we go back to the base," said Sasori. "We're going to have to try and find Orochimaru again."

It was a very depressed group that returned to the base. Pein, Itachi, Kakuzu, Konan and Sasori, being the smarter members, began to study the information that Itachi and Kisame had found. There wasn't much. Zetsu was looking for any sign of Orochimaru. Naruto felt pretty useless whilst all this was going on. Kisame was teaching Fuu some kenjutsu, and he was supposed to be sparring with Hidan. The Jashinist had to complete a ritual, though, so he was left doing nothing. He began to read one of the books that Konan had given him sometime in the past three years. It was a manga, and it was titled 'Dragon Ball'. The main character, a kid named Goku, was really strong and had a tail. He went looking for the dragon balls, balls that could grant wishes, with his friend, Bulma. Naruto was so absorbed into the manga that he didn't notice that Hidan had finished his ritual.

"Naruto, come on! Are we going to spar or what?" Hidan yelled, growing impatient. There was no answer. Hidan huffed, and stormed over to where Naruto was sitting. "Get your head out of the fucking book and fight!" He ripped the book from Naruto's hands.

"Hey! I was reading that!" whined Naruto. Hidan rolled his eyes.

"We're supposed to be training, you idiot. If you don't get stronger then how the fuck are you gonna help Akatsuki? What happens if we're all fighting, and someone attacks you? Are you just gonna sit there and die?" Naruto was silent. He took in all that Hidan said, and stabbed the Jashinist through the stomach with a kunai. "You motherfucker!"

"Well, you said to start training..."

"Grr!" Hidan swung his scythe towards Naruto, who jumped back. The two began to spar fiercely.

It was four days before Zetsu managed to find out where Orochimaru had fled to. Everyone trained hard, expecting anything. Pein called a meeting so that everybody would hear Zetsu's information.

"Leader-sama, we have located Orochimaru's latest hideout. **And it seems that Deidara is also there, judging from what the ninja are saying.** It's a hideout that he has used before. It's on an island named Jiro Island, in Umi no Kuni. **Konoha knows of this base; however they think that it's deserted.**" There was silence for a moment, before everybody started talking at once.

"We've gotta go there!"

"What do you mean, what the ninja are saying?"

"I hope we don't run into Konoha on the way, that'd be bad."

"I wonder how I should kill Orochimaru..."

"Jashin-sama's gonna love this. Hopefully, I'll be able to kill loads of heathens."

"SILENCE!" Pein's cool voice echoed through the room. "Sasori, Itachi, Hidan, Kisame, Zetsu and Konan shall go to this hideout. If any of you run into Orochimaru, use a clone to distract him and continue searching. Do not fight him unless it is necessary. Kakuzu, prepare the medical wing for any event as Deidara is likely to be in bad condition. Naruto, Fuu, you two are to remain inside the base, preferably inside your rooms. I will give you some of my research on the bijuu and their jinchuuriki, you are to study it. Dismissed!" The room emptied quickly. Pein sighed, and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Are you sure that all this trouble for one brat is worth it?" A figure asked from the shadows. Pein spun around to face him.

"Yes. Deidara is powerful, and shall only grow stronger." The figure did not respond, choosing instead to leave.

Orochimaru was internally panicking as he sensed the six powerful chakras coming towards him. How had they found him so fast? He wouldn't be able to take Deidara-chan with him, even if he left now... it was too dangerous. He stood up, and walked down to the boy's cell, removing something sharp from his robe. The guards respectfully moved out of the way.

A scream of pain echoed across the island a moment later.

Sasori froze upon hearing the scream. It sounded... familiar. It sounded like...

"Deidara!" he yelled, charging towards the island. The others glanced at him and sped up to follow him. They arrived on the island in minutes. Orochimaru stood in front of them.

"I'm sorry, but I doubt you'll be able to do anything for Deidara-chan now... Kukuku!" Hidan angrily threw his scythe towards the sannin, who vanished in a cloud of smoke.

"Kage bunshin. Come on, we have to find Deidara. Kisame, Itachi, you will search with Zetsu. Sasori, Hidan, you'll search with me. Let's go." The men nodded at Konan's words, and split into the two teams. Itachi, Kisame and Zetsu ran into the base, and headed east. The others began to search the west side of the base, checking every room.

"Konan! Sasori! Look at this shit!" Hidan called, pointing through a door. The others followed him as he walked inside. The room was clearly a medical research room. Its walls were a cold white, and the floor was concrete. Metal desks and drawers lined the edge of the room. One wall had another door leading to a test chamber, which they could see into thanks to the gigantic one-way window on the same wall. The testing chamber had steel walls and the same concrete floor, and it contained a metal slab. The slab had chains attached to it, and somebody had dented and scratched it many times. The entire chamber was covered in bloodstains. Konan walked over to the desks, and began going through the notes. Sasori did the same with the drawers. Hidan decided to look inside the test chamber, in case there was something there. He bent down to check under the slab and noticed a few long blonde strands of hair. Picking them up, he left.

"Sasori? Konan? I think you two might wanna see this..." The two others turned to see what Hidan had found. Konan gasped, and Sasori looked murderous. The puppeteer reached for some more of the notes, and froze. The sheet of paper in front of him read 'TEST SUBJECT #47380 – DEIDARA NO AKATSUKI'. It was stained with brown blood, but was still legible. He began to read.

"Sasori, I found something on Deidara's kekkei gen- what's that?" Konan asked. Sasori stared at her, his eyes dull.

"I found Orochimaru's research on Deidara. You're... not going to like this." Hidan and Konan listened intently as Sasori began to tell them the things that Orochimaru had done to their blonde teammate.

Itachi paused. He could have sworn he just heard something. Zetsu and Kisame didn't seem to have heard it. Itachi pressed his ear to the wall. He could hear raggedy breathing coming from within.

"Kisame. Zetsu. There's someone behind this wall." The two spun around. Zetsu used his jutsu to check to see if there was really something through the wall. His voice was heard a second later.

"Is that Deidara?** It looks like he's in bad shape. **Good find, Itachi." Kisame hoisted Samehada and broke the wall down. It looked like Itachi had found a hidden room. There were no doors, or windows. The room was in a similar shape to the cell they had found in Oto no Kuni. Lying on the floor was a half-dead, naked blonde. He was almost unidentifiable due to the cuts and bruises that covered his body. A strange design stood out against the pale skin of his chest. Kisame cursed, nearly dropping Samehada. Itachi removed his cloak.

"Kisame, can you carry him? He can wear this." The shark-nin bent over to pick up Deidara, and Itachi clothed him. "Zetsu, could you please go inform Konan and the others? We'll make our way outside."

"Of course."

Konan, Sasori and Hidan were still gathering all of Orochimaru's notes when Zetsu showed up.

"We found him. We'll meet up with you outside." Sasori dropped the notes he was holding.

"WHAT?" Hidan yelled. "Come on! We've gotta hurry! Let's just grab what we've got and run!" He bolted out of the door, running back the way they'd come. Sasori picked up the notes, and Konan used a sealing jutsu to seal all the research into a scroll. They then raced after Hidan.

The two teams met up outside of Orochimaru's base, on the sandy shores of Jiro Island. Kisame was carefully holding Deidara's prone form. Sasori quickly checked over the blonde with his medical ninjutsu.

"He's seriously injured and... is that...?" he muttered. "Shit... I think Deidara's been poisoned. It looks recent; we have to get back now." There were sharp intakes of breath as everyone present realised that Deidara could die unless they managed to get back to their base and cure him. Konan withdrew a scroll from inside her robes.

"This is a teleportation seal. Everyone, place your hands on the scroll. I'll activate it. Kisame, do not let go of Deidara." They all reached out and touched the scroll. Konan bit her thumb and smeared a small amount of blood onto the paper, before whispering "Activate."

A flash, and then they were gone, leaving only the now-deserted beach in their wake.

Back at the Akatsuki base, Kakuzu was sitting in the infirmary talking to Pein about the various bijuu and their jinchuuriki. Their talk was interrupted by the return of Konan, Sasori, Hidan, Kisame, Itachi, Zetsu and Deidara. Kisame was cradling Deidara's form in his arms, and Itachi wasn't wearing his cloak. Konan held a bag full of notes. Kisame rushed over to one of the infirmary beds, carefully lowering the eleven-year-old to the bed.

"Kakuzu, Konan, we need to start checking him over now. I suspect that he's been poisoned." Sasori said. The two mentioned walked over. Itachi joined them in case they needed extra help.

"Hidan, Kisame, Zetsu, please tell me what happened." commanded Pein, his voice tinged with worry. Hidan decided to tell his side of the story first.

"We got near the island, then this scream comes out of nowhere and Sasori recognises it as Dei's. Dunno how. We sped up and reached the shore, and Orochimaru spoke to us. He told us that we were too late, and then disappeared in some smoke cuz it was only a fucking shadow clone. We split into two teams – me with Sasori and Konan, and Zetsu, Itachi and Kisame on the other team. My team found a research lab with a ton of research on kekkei genkai and there was a testing chamber too which had blood all over it and there was some of Dei's hair on the floor. Then Zetsu came and told us that they'd found Dei so we left the building and then Sasori found out that he was poisoned so we came back to the base."Pein nodded, before turning to the others, expecting an explanation from them. The two looked at each other. Kisame decided to tell their tale.

"When we split from Hidan and the others, we started searching everywhere we could. We found hardly anything until Itachi heard something behind a wall; don't ask me how. Zetsu checked it out and there was a room hidden behind the wall. I smashed down the wall with Samehada. It had no windows or doors, and it was in bad condition. Deidara was on the floor, unconscious and naked. Itachi gave Deidara his cloak, and we left after that. You know the rest."

"Thank you, Kisame. Hidan. Sasori, can you cure him?"

"I don't know... but I've worked out how long this poison will take to cure him." answered the puppet. He looked over to the leader, eyes filled with anguish.

"He has a week to live."

**A/N:**

**Oh, I'm evil...**

**Now, will Deidara live or die? What of the strange mark on his chest that nobody seems to have noticed yet?**

**Please, review or Deidara will die... and I don't want to have to kill off one of my favourite characters!  
>Hidan: OI!<strong>

**I said ONE of them, baka!**


	7. Chapter 7: One Week

**OH MY GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE.**

**I'm SO sorry... I had a tooth taken out, then I got really ill, then school became REALLY annoying, and I had to force myself to finish this now because I'm suffering a heavy curse from Mother Nature.**

**Thank you for your patience, and I hope this won't be a regular thing. I might update less, but I'll try and update at least once a week! DATTEBAYO!**

**But before I begin this chapter – CGFlare, if you're reading this – that was quite an overreaction. Grow up. I'm kinda glad that you blocked me; actually, it just means I don't have to waste my time trying to placate you.**

**Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. In case you don't quite understand, it's scenes from each day that Deidara has left.**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 7: One Week**

**Day One**

**Akatsuki Outdoor Training Grounds**

Fuu was bored. Naruto was refusing to train, because he'd been told that Deidara had been rescued but wasn't allowed to see his friend. She wondered what it was like to have a proper friend. Was Naruto her friend now? Fuu didn't really know. She'd been a loner in Taki. The villagers had hated her because of the Nanabi and because of how different she looked.

After all, it wasn't every day that you met someone who had green hair and orange eyes.

As Fuu pestered Naruto, they both noticed Hidan walking over. The seventeen-year-old was unusually serious. Did this have something to do with Deidara? Fuu hoped that the other boy was alright. She didn't want Naruto to be more upset. She'd have nothing to do, then.

"Naruto... Dei..." Hidan began, closing his eyes for a moment.

"What's happened? Can I see Dei now?" Naruto asked, face lighting up. Fuu mentally frowned at his obliviousness. It was clear that whatever had happened wasn't good.

"No... He's been poisoned." Naruto scowled. Fuu remembered that Sasori was supposed to be an expert at poisons. She hadn't really met the other members, but Naruto and Pein – oops, sorry, she meant Leader-sama – had told her about them.

"Can't Sasori-san cure Deidara-san?" she asked. Naruto brightened again.

"Yeah! Sori's good with poisons! Deidara'll be fine, right Hidan?" Hidan remained silent. "Hidaaan?"

"Naruto... Deidara's got a week to live. Sasori doesn't know if he'll be able to create and make the antidote in time." Hidan said, his voice almost a whisper. Uncharacteristically, Hidan hadn't sworn once. Naruto froze. Fuu could feel the rage building up in the other jinchuuriki.

"**NO! DEI CAN'T DIE!**" he roared. Fuu flinched, before letting her own demonic chakra take over slightly.

"**Naruto! Sasori-san will cure Deidara-san, don't worry!**" she said, the Nanabi no Kabutomushi's soft yet harsh voice coming from her own mouth. Naruto looked at her. His eyes slowly faded from Kyuubi-red to Naruto-blue.

And then they turned to a sickly yellow colour, with slits. Naruto screamed. A strange black pattern, like fire, spread across his face.

"SHIT!" Hidan yelled. Naruto struck. Fuu blinked. He was attacking with one of the swords that Kisame-sensei had said were for missions. _Where did he even get that...?_ Hidan easily blocked the blows with his triple-bladed scythe. "SOMEONE HELP! NARUTO'S GONE CRAZY!" Naruto hissed at that, and flung Hidan into a wall. Fuu used the Nanabi's chakra and started to attack her friend, trying to knock him out.

And then Pein – LEADER-SAMA, DAMMIT – was there. He made some strange handsigns, and slammed his hand against Naruto's neck. Naruto instantly crumpled. Fuu ran over to them, letting the Nanabi take back her chakra.

"W-what was that, Leader-sama?" Fuu asked, shivering slightly. His eyes had been terrifying. Fuu hated snakes.

"That was Orochimaru's work. I'm taking Naruto; I may have a way to fix this." He said. His voice was cold. The tall flame-haired man gently lifted Naruto's form, and left.

"Oww... That fucking hurt... Fuckin' Naruto..." groaned a voice. Fuu jumped. She'd forgotten about Hidan. The Jashinist was lying amongst the pile of rubble that had once been a wall. "Hey, Nanabitch! Could I get a little fucking help here?" Fuu walked over to him. He was fairly uninjured. Other than the little fact that his arm had been sliced off by a sharp rock. "Damn, he can throw. Now I'm gonna have to get Kakuzu to sew this back on."

"You don't care that your arm just got chopped off?" Fuu asked in disbelief. He grinned at her, his pinky-red eyes glinting.

"Hell no! Now, I'm gonna go get Kakuzu to put this back on for me, and then we can spar. Leader took Naruto, so he'll be fine."

**Day Two**

**Akatsuki Training Grounds**

He swung the weapon at her. She dodged, sending an earth jutsu at him. He easily avoided it and snuck up behind her, knocking her to the ground.

"Fuu, you're supposed to notice when someone sneaks up behind you, you know." He said, chuckling slightly. She pouted.

"It's not my fault that I never had decent teachers in Taki! Kisame-sensei, did you know that everybody in that place hated me? And not just because of the Nanabi. They hated me because I look different." she yelled. Kisame rolled his eyes, smirking at her.

"You look different? Compared to me, you look normal. Besides, you'd have hated the other villages. Suna's a desert, Konoha's prejudiced and stuck-up, Kumo's a bunch of weirdos, Iwa's... well, Iwa's bloody insane, and Kiri's like a war zone. Seriously, in Kiri, friendships don't exist." Sasori flipped Kisame off from his position nearby, and Itachi glared at his partner. They may have left their villages, but they still didn't like people insulting their old homes. Even if it was true.

"You have a point... but what do you mean, friendships don't exist in Kiri?" asked Fuu, a little confused at Kisame's words.

"A while ago in Kiri, under the Yondaime Mizukage, there were many riots against those with kekkei genkai. Every clan was wiped out. And Kiri became extremely unstable. The Mizukage created a new graduation exam for the academy – you'd have to kill one of your classmates to be allowed to graduate. Eventually, you were seen as weak if you had friends. Instead, people would make temporary alliances. It was like a war. From the outside, Kiri was a normal shinobi village. But from the inside..." Kisame trailed off. Fuu was stunned.

"W-wait, Leader-sama said the Yondaime Mizukage was a jinchuuriki... why did he let this happen? Was he treated differently?"

"He still is a jinchuuriki. He retired and left Kiri a while ago, with Kiri's other jinchuuriki. We've been trying to track them both down."

"Which bijuu do they have?"

"Yagura – the Yondaime Mizukage – has the Sanbi, and the other one, Utakata, has the Rokubi. Both can control the bijuu fairly well." Kisame didn't mention that Madara-sama had been extremely annoyed when Utakata had helped free Yagura from the Uchiha's control. Kisame had fond memories of the ex-Mizukage, who had trained Kisame occasionally. Fuu frowned.

"Well, me and Naruto'll just have to find them both then! Hyaaa!" she yelled, suddenly striking at Kisame with a training sword. He blocked easily, and laughed at her.

"Good luck with that! I heard that Zetsu had found a jinchuuriki, actually... Han of Iwagakure, jinchuuriki of the Gobi. It'll be a while before anyone's sent to get him, though. Now, let's get back to training! Suiton: Bakusui Shouha!" he yelled, blasting enormous waves of water from his mouth. A determined look appeared on Fuu's face, and the two began to spar furiously.

**Day Three**

**Akatsuki Base's Living Room**

The Akatsuki, minus Naruto, Pein, Sasori and Deidara (and Fuu, but she's not a member of Akatsuki yet), were relaxing for once. Well... sort of.

"Hidan, I'm going to kill you!" Kakuzu yelled. Hidan had once again stolen the older ninja's wallet. This time, he'd bought a flat screen TV. It had arrived 5 minutes prior to Kakuzu finding out. At the moment, the seventh Harry Potter film was being shown on the screen. **(A/N: Both parts.)**

"Ah, fuck off Kakuzu! FUCKING HELL, IS THAT OROCHIMARU?" Hidan yelled, throwing some popcorn at the screen in shock. Kisame and Fuu burst out laughing.

"Hidan you idiot, that's Voldemort!" Konan said, facepalming.

"Speaking of Orochimaru, how are we going to kill him?" Itachi asked, stopping the laughter. Konan paused the film.

"You've got a fucking good point, weasel." muttered Hidan. "We all wanna kill the motherfucking bastard, so how the fuck are we going to all kill him?"

"Like this." said Kakuzu, holding up a piece of paper. On it was written how each member would assist in killing the snake.

"Kakuzu will use his threads and masks to subdue him. Itachi will use Tsukuyomi to paralyze & torture him, although I doubt it'll do much. I'll use Samehada to drain his chakra. Heh, Samehada will get a feast, he's got loads of chakra. Hidan will use his sacrificial jutsu to torture him, yes, that means no killing him, Sasori will poison him using a really painful poison, and Konan will... do what she did last time... ouch... Deidara will put bombs down Oro-teme's pants and detonate them, Leader-sama will use his Rikudo technique to beat the shit out of him, and then Naruto can use the power of the Kyuubi to tear him apart. Fuu can help with that, too. And finally, Zetsu will be able to have the body." Kisame read out. The others grinned evilly. Konan had a wicked glint in her eye. The others stepped away from her.

And the door slammed open. Sasori was standing there, panting slightly.

"I created a cure. Problem is... I've got none of the ingredients needed."

"We'll get them for you. What do you need?" asked Itachi. Sasori silently held out a long list. It would take them a few days to gather all of the ingredients. But... they only had four more days.

**Day Four**

**Akatsuki Living Room**

Fuu sighed. She was lonely again. Everybody was busy doing something, so she had nothing to do. Again. She wished Naruto was here.

It seemed that her wish was granted, as the door opened. Naruto and Pein walked in. Naruto charged at Fuu, hugging her tightly.

"FUU-CHAAAN! Miss me?" he yelled. She winced at his loud voice.

"Naruto, let me go... I can't breathe..." she gasped out. He looked sheepish, and let her go. Pein rolled his eyes at their antics. "So... um, what happened?"

"Tousan made it so that seal won't do anything to me unless I really want it! And I don't like it, so I won't ever use it!" he chirped brightly. Fuu blinked.

"Seal...?"

"Naruto's loss of control a few days ago was not because of Kyuubi. Orochimaru marked him with a seal when he was four." explained Pein. "He hasn't accessed it since then, but it seems the news about Deidara caused him to use the curse mark."

"And Tousan fixed it, and Sasori-no-danna's helping Dei!" chirped Naruto. Fuu giggled at his hyperactive attitude. "Fuu-chan, let's go play Jenga again! I bet I can beat you this time!

"You're on, Naruto-kun!" The two children raced upstairs, leaving Pein alone. He sighed, and decided to rest. After all, three of his other bodies were helping Sasori gather the components for his antidote.

**Day Five**

**Hidan's Room**

Hidan had returned late the previous day, with some of the vital ingredients for Sasori's antidote. He decided that he really needed to perform a ritual to Jashin-sama. He grabbed his scythe, and began to cut himself with it.

Just as he impaled his scythe into his heart, Fuu knocked on the door and walked in. Her eyes widened dramatically.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" she shrieked. Hidan cursed, getting up.

"Dammit, Fuu! I was performing a ritual!" he yelled. "This is what I fucking meant when I said 'DO NOT GO IN MY FUCKING ROOM UNLESS I SAY YOU CAN!'" Naruto ran into view, followed by Pein's Animal Path – Deva Path was busy helping Sasori. Naruto paled at the sight. He didn't like Hidan's rituals; they scared him a little. Pein simply sighed.

"Fuu, come with us. I'll explain what Hidan was doing." Pein said. Fuu nodded, running over to Naruto. "Hidan, this is the 273rd time somebody has walked in on one of your rituals. You have a lock, use it."

"Sorry..." Hidan muttered, glaring at Fuu. The scythe was still stuck through his chest. Fuu, Naruto and Pein began to walk down the hallway, hearing the sound of a lock click behind them. The trio walked into the living room. Naruto immediately jumped onto one of the sofas, dragging Fuu with him. Pein sat down opposite them.

"You are probably wondering what Hidan was doing, and how he is still alive," he began. Fuu nodded. Naruto began to read his manga again. "Hidan is a member of the Jashinist religion, which involves sacrificing humans to their god. They also have many sacrificial jutsu. Hidan experimented with their jutsu, and became immortal." Fuu laughed at the explanation. Pein looked at her questioningly.

"There is no god. It's a stupid idea. Like a fairy tale." She said. Hidan chose that moment to walk in, hearing her words.

"HEY! Fuck you! Jashin-sama is not a fairy tale, heathen bitch! When you die, Jashin-sama will torture you for your insolence!" he yelled at her. She glared at him.

"There is no god, no Jashin, no Kami... whatever you want to call him or her. It's pathetic how easily people fall for these lies." She said, sticking her tongue out at the Jashinist. He pulled out his scythe. Pein rolled his eyes. _You are correct for now, Fuu. I will become God. I will bring peace by causing people to feel pain! The other idiots who tried to bring peace by ending war failed miserably. My idea is unique, and flawless! Unless Madara decides to be an asshole... but then I'll just kill him. Wait, better idea, I'll set PMSing Konan on him. Scary woman._

Somewhere in an alternate universe, Light Yagami sneezed.

"Are you okay, Light?" asked the famous detective, L Lawliet. "Maybe you should have some cake."

"...I'll pass." _L, you will die for standing in the way of my justice! I will create a new world, and become God!_

Meanwhile, in the Narutoverse, Sasori had just finished with the first stage of the antidote. It was now a matter of waiting for the others to return. Sasori hated waiting. Ever since he'd waited and waited for his parents to return... and they hadn't. Deidara chose that moment to flinch slightly. Sasori was by the blonde's side in an instant, checking him over. Luckily, he hadn't worsened.

"Why do I care for you so much?" Sasori whispered, brushing Deidara's hair out of his face. "It's always different with you... my crazy brat." He froze. _His _crazy brat?

But... He was a puppet.

Puppets didn't feel emotions.

Especially not for incredibly cute but annoying blonde brats who thought that art was fleeting.

Cute? Where did that come from?

**Day Six**

**Akatsuki Infirmary**

Sasori was working frantically, assisted by Konan. Everyone had returned – minus one. Itachi was still looking. Unfortunately, Itachi's ingredient was one of the most vital. Deidara's heartbeat was beginning to slow. Kakuzu was using healing chakra to try and slow the effects of the poison, to no avail.

Time was running out.

Itachi grabbed the small vial of liquid, stashing it away inside his cloak. He looked up, to find himself surrounded by menacing ninja.

He did something almost unheard of.

Uchiha Itachi swore.

**Day Seven: Dawn of the Final Day**

**Akatsuki Infirmary**

The Akatsuki Infirmary was currently very crowded. Hidan, Naruto, Fuu, Kisame, Zetsu and Pein were sitting down on various beds, watching Sasori create an antidote. Konan and Kakuzu were focused on keeping Deidara alive.

His heartbeat was slowing down even more. His breathing was beginning to stop.

They were almost out of time.

The door slammed open, revealing Itachi standing there, heavily wounded. He withdrew a vial from his cloak. Sasori snatched it away from him, and hastily began to add it to the antidote. Kisame helped Itachi lie down on one of the beds, and Naruto used the small amount of medical ninjutsu that he knew to help Itachi.

They all watched with bated breaths as Sasori finished the antidote, and injected it straight into his partner.

_I'm dying... but what is this new feeling? It reminds me of... life... and of Danna? No... you don't want me, danna... I'm useless... But... maybe you do want me...?_

_I don't want to die!  
>I want to wake up!<em>

_Sasori-no-danna...! Help me!_

**A/N:**

**I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S SO SHORT AND IT TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT!**

**I've been really busy...**

**Hmm. Do I make the next chapter a flashback chapter which is about Dei, or do I let you see if he lives or dies?**


	8. Chapter 8: Deidara's 10th Birthday

**Uh... Sorry for the delay. I've been really busy, and have had NO. TIME. Until now, because I was ill. I'm currently DYING! (Yay, drama.)**

**Anyway, I don't own Naruto. I also do NOT condone giving 10-year-olds alcohol. Blame Hidan for that, since he's an idiot.**

**Enjoy!**

**Naruto Uzumaki: Son of the Akatsuki**

**Chapter 8: Flashback no Jutsu: Deidara's 10****th**** Birthday**

Clay dragons being ridden by puppets flew through the electric blue sky, exploding in showers of bright colour. Deidara sat there, watching in awe, his Danna by his side.

"Deidara..." Sasori began. The blonde turned, smiling.

"What, Sasori-no-danna?"

"I-"

The environment swirled, and went black.

"DEI-CHAN! WAKE THE FUCK UP!" yelled the voice of Hidan. Deidara mentally cursed, slowly opening his eyes. Hidan and Naruto stood there, grinning. Sasori was sat down on the other bed, watching the scene.

"Why'd you have to wake me up, un?" He murmured. Sasori smirked.

"Dei-chan! Happy birthday!" cheered Naruto. He stared at the other blonde in shock. He'd completely forgotten.

"Ahahaha, Blondie forgot his own birthday! Happy birthday, Dei-chan!" laughed Hidan. Deidara grinned, before reaching over to the side of his bed. He picked up a clay bird that he'd made the night before, and threw it at them.

"KATSU! That's for waking me up, un!" The bird exploded, covering both Naruto and Hidan in clay dust. He picked up another bird.

"Ack! Okay, okay! We're going!" Hidan said, dragging Naruto out of the room before the bomb-loving terrorist could try to blow them up again. Sasori chuckled softly.

"Happy birthday, brat. Here." Sasori handed a beautifully-wrapped present to the blonde. He carefully unwrapped it, not wanting to tear the pretty paper (it had pictures of clay birds and explosions on it. How Sasori got this paper will forever remain a secret unless a certain bluenette decides to tell you). Inside was a flamethrower. His face lit up.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH, DANNA!" He yelled, hugging Sasori tightly.

"I may not need to breathe, but I still do not appreciate being crushed, brat." Sasori said. Deidara blushed and let go.

"Sorry, un." He began to get out of bed, but Sasori pushed him back down.

"Stay in bed. I'll go get some breakfast for you, as a birthday treat."

"W-what?" Sasori was not normally this nice. Last year, he had helped Hidan drag Deidara downstairs where they had blindfolded the blonde and made him try to find his presents. Zetsu had accidently turned off the power halfway through, and Deidara had somehow found his way into the kitchen, where he had fallen face-first into the birthday cake that Konan had baked. Sasori had a picture of the cake-covered Deidara up on his shelves. He had blown up the picture many times, but Sasori always managed to replace it.

"Do I need to repeat myself, brat? You get breakfast in bed today. Enjoy it. I'll be back in a few minutes." He was stunned. This was so different to his birthdays in Iwa. He shuddered, remembering his sixth birthday.

_Flashback within a Flashback no jutsu! (Wait, what?)_

_Slap._

_His mother's hand connected with the sleeping boy's face, waking him up. He opened his eyes, staring up at the angry woman._

"_Get up, freak! Your father and I want our breakfasts!" she yelled, before storming out of the room. He sighed, before quickly getting out of bed. He didn't want to know what would happen if he refused them. It took him a few minutes to get dressed before he ran downstairs, straight into the kitchen. He stopped when he saw the date on the calendar._

_May 5__th__. His birthday. He was six today._

_Smiling slightly, he began to cook breakfast for his parents. Bacon, eggs, and sausages with a glass of orange juice for each of his parents. The breakfast had to be made to perfection or he'd be beaten._

"_FREAK! What's taking so long!" bellowed the voice of his father. Deidara flinched, almost dropping the plate that he was holding. He quickly walked into the dining room, placing his parents' meals in front of them before quickly leaving. He went back into the kitchen, and took a slice of bread from the breadbin. This would have to fill him until he got the chance to steal some at a later time._

_A few minutes later, Deidara was dressed and ready to go to school. As he began to leave, his father moved in front of him, blocking the doorway._

"_O-otousama... Please, I need to go to school, un..." he murmured, looking at the face of his father with pleading eyes. School was his only chance to get away from the house without being punished._

"_My bacon was overcooked, freak." Deidara's eyes widened. '_Crap... Otousama doesn't accept anything less than perfection.'

"_I-I'm sorry, otousama! It won't happen again, un!" he gasped out, backing away. His father's face contorted into an angry snarl._

"_It had fucking well better not!" He yelled, slamming Deidara into the wall. "You'd better get back on time, brat... if not, you'll make it even worse for yourself. You understand, yeah?"_

"_H-hai, un!" He jumped up, running out of the door. It took half an hour to get to school, since Deidara's house was on the opposite side of Iwa. He always left two hours before started, because occasionally he'd run into some trouble._

_Like today. He ran straight into an extremely strong, muscular chuunin, and the latter's friends. Deidara backed away, terrified. He knew what was going to happen._

"_Where the fuck d'you think you're going, freak?" one of them said._

"_None of your business, un." He answered, glaring towards them. They smiled sadistically, and began to attack._

"_HEY! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" yelled a very familiar voice. A tall man in samurai armour stormed up to them, snatching Deidara away from them._

"_Han...sensei...?" whispered the blonde. Han often taught him when he ran away from school. Han was also a good medic, and healed Deidara's wounds often. He knew about the beatings, but since Deidara's father was on the council, he couldn't tell the Tsuchikage for fear of death._

"_It's okay, Deidara. Stay here for a few minutes. I'll deal with these punks." Deidara nodded, watching as Han advanced on the group of chuunin. They all seemed to be scared of him, for some reason. As Deidara slipped into unconsciousness, steam began to surround Han._

_Deidara slowly opened his eyes a few minutes later to see Han standing over him._

"_C'mon kid, get up. Hey, happy birthday!" said the older man, his eyes showing happiness. "I healed you already. Oh, right, present time!" Han rummaged around in his armour for a few moments, before withdrawing a package. "Sorry it isn't wrapped, I suck at wrapping presents." Deidara took the package, beaming. It was a perfectly clean, sharp set of clay working tools._

"_Thank you so much, Han-sensei!" he yelled, hugging the man. Han chuckled, checking his watch._

"_Shouldn't you be heading to school?" Deidara's eyes widened._

"_Oh,crap..." he muttered. Han grabbed the blonde, and started running at an incredible speed towards the school. They were there within minutes. Deidara blushed. "T-thanks, Han-sensei, un!"_

"_No problem, kid. You're Roshi's nephew and my student, it's the least I can do." said Han, disappearing in a blast of warm steam. Deidara smiled, walking into the school._

_A few hours later, school was finally over. He hated school. He had hardly any friends there, because of their prejudice. His only real friends that were around his age, Akatsuchi and Kurotsuchi, didn't go to school – they were trained privately by the Tsuchikage. Sighing, Deidara began to leave, hoping that he didn't run into trouble on the way home._

_Well, he didn't run into trouble, but he ran into someone. Literally._

"_Hey, if it isn't Deidara, yeah! Happy birthday!" said the tall, red-haired man, grinning. "Han told me what happened this morning. Those assholes won't come after you again, yeah."_

"_Roshi-ojisan? What're you doing here? Not that I don't want to see you, un!" asked Deidara. Roshi's smile widenened._

"_I came to give you your present, yeah! Here!" He passed a small package to Deidara. "Go on, open it!" Deidara eagerly tore off the paper. He gaped at what it contained._

"_THANK YOU SO MUCH, ROSHI-JISAN!" The package held an annual pass to Iwa's famed clay mines. His uncle and he both loved to model with clay, and were alike in that the only reason they weren't completely despised was because of their art. He hugged Roshi, enjoying the older man's embrace._

"_Deidara?" His voice had changed. He sounded a little worried._

"_What, un?"_

"_Be careful, yeah... if my brother tries to hurt you, get out of there, yeah."_

"_H-how did you-"_

"_I'm not stupid, yeah. I grew up with him. Me and Han'll be looking out for ya." Roshi ruffled his nephew's hair, and left. Deidara frowned. He knew. Sighing, he walked slowly back to his house, entering through his window. He reached down and pulled on one of the wooden floorboards, revealing a hidden compartment. The clay tools and annual pass were placed inside, along with a few other things such as clay, toys, and a small wooden doll that Akatsuchi had given him. He heard footsteps, and hastily closed the hidden compartment. The door was slammed open. His father stood there, smelling of alcohol. Deidara flinched, pressing his small body against the furthest wall. He knew what this meant._

"_YOU FUCKING SLUT!" roared the muscular man, striding towards Deidara and picking him up by the collar. "How fucking dare you? You got that demon scum to help you again! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING GO NEAR THEM! And you RUINED my breakfast this morning, bitch!"_

"_I-I'm sorry, otousan.." whispered the blonde, looking at his father with terrified eyes. The man punched him against the wall, before picking him up again._

"_Oh, you're not sorry. Yet. But you fucking will be!" Slap. Punch. Kick. After a few minutes, his mother joined in the beating. Both yelled at him for things that were out of his control. Both hurt him for no reason. Eventually, it stopped._

"_Darling, leave." Deidara's heart skipped a beat. _Oh no... _he thought, wishing that his uncle or sensei would save him. His mother left, closing the door behind her. His father began to rip off clothing, and he felt himself falling..._

_Two hours of torture. Two entire hours. That's how long it went on for, before Deidara's father decided that he'd had enough. The body was thrown out of the window. If Roshi hadn't been walking by, then Deidara would have died._

"_Shit!" cursed the redheaded man. "That... that asshole! He's gone too far." Roshi's voice had never been this full of anger. He carefully lifted up the broken body of his nephew, and ran. It was a five-minute journey to Roshi's house. He only hoped that Deidara had more than five minutes left. As soon as he arrived, he laid Deidara on the sofa, and grabbed a small box from the table. It contained a number of strange green beans. He picked up one of the beans and force-fed it to Deidara. The effect was incredible: the wounds disappeared instantly, leaving Deidara completely healed. His eyes twitched, and snapped open._

"_What...?" he murmured, looking at Roshi. He'd expected to be lying in the gutter or something. Roshi looked angry, too. He wondered what he'd done this time._

"_You're never going back there. Ever." snapped the redhead. Deidara blinked. "I am going to get the Tsuchikage to have those motherfuckers killed!" He had never heard Roshi sound so angry._

"_B-but, ojisan! Otousan's your brother!"_

"_Not anymore. Not after what he did to you. You're incredibly lucky that I had some senzu beans with me .You... you'd be dead otherwise, yeah." Deidara was silent. He didn't know that he'd been that bad. "Tomorrow, we'll go to the Tsuchikage. For now, go to sleep, yeah. Night, Deidara."_

"_Night, ojisan, un." The lights went off, and Deidara slowly fell asleep. He dreamt of explosions, fire, and a lot of red._

_Flashback within a Flashback no Jutsu: Kai!_

"Brat?" Sasori waved his hand in front of Deidara's face. The latter had completely zoned out by the time Sasori had come back with breakfast. "Are you okay?"

"Uh? Oh, sorry, danna! I was just remembering something, un." A flash of pain crossed his face for a moment, before he grinned widely. Sasori raised an eyebrow, deciding not to ask.

"Okay... Anyway, I brought breakfast." He put the plate down on Deidara's bedside table. Deidara took this opportunity to hug his danna.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" he yelled. Sasori chuckled, ruffling Deidara's long hair.

About an hour later, the two started to argue about art again.

"Art is not eternal, danna! It's fleeting – a brief glimpse of beauty, that is imprinted in the memory of all those who see it!"

"Tch. Art is eternal. It is meant to last forever, to share its beauty with all. What's the point of something that disappears as soon as it's created?" They kept arguing as they walked downstairs, finally leaving Deidara's room. They quickly reached the living room, and Deidara flung open the door.

"SURPRISE!" Deidara fell over at the sight, causing everyone to laugh at him. The entire Akatsuki had set up a birthday party. There was a huge cake in the middle of the room, surrounded by presents.

"Caaake..." he drooled. Sasori rolled his eyes, and led the younger ninja into the room. The rest of the night was filled with food-fights, presents, fireworks, and lots of crazy games.

"_I dare you to give Kakuzu a lap dance!" Itachi slurred to Tobi. The masked man jumped up and did just that, scarring everybody else._

"_I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WOOORLD!" Pein yelled into a microphone, swaying slightly before falling off the stage._

"_Why do I have to go to bed?" pouted Naruto. Kisame chuckled and dragged the blonde out of the room._

"_The others are drunk, and I don't want you being scarred for life. Well, I was a bit late for that, but still. Go to sleep."_

"_WHEEEEE! FAIRIES!" shrieked Deidara. Konan exchanged a glance with Kakuzu._

"_WHO THE HELL GAVE THE TEN-YEAR-OLD ALCOHOL?" they roared. Hidan mooned them. Konan groaned, slamming her head against the table._

"_Yeah, bitch! Moan for me!" Hidan was always scared of Konan after that night._

"_Dannaaaaa~ Danna danna danna danna dannaaa~" Deidara said, hugging Sasori. The puppet, being unable to get drunk, glared at his partner._

"_I'm going to kill Hidan."_

**The Next Morning**

"WHERE THE HELL'S MY DICK? WHY AM I NAKED? WHY AM I HANGING UPSIDE-DOWN FROM THE CEILING? HELLOOOO?" Everybody ignored Hidan – they were too busy trying to cope with their hangovers.

**A/N**

**Yeah... it's not very good, I know. I got writers block and had to try and write SOMETHING.**

**Review, or Tobi will eat your brain.**


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